Someday Never Comes
by emagery
Summary: AU. Definite Angst. Jane & Maura broke up. Just co-existing together, until one night after a drunken confession from Jane, they both have to find their way back to each other. Rizzles eventually.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Something I came up with. Slightly AU. As I cannot get down the Maura talk. Heavy angst and not much fluff here guys & gals. Long road ahead if I garner enough interest. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own Jane & Maura. They below to Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro, & TNT. Borrowing them for the angst, cause why not. **

**Flashbacks are in Italics. **

"Mauraaaa. Mauraaaaa. Guess what?"

"I don't know Jane. What?" Maura smiles amusingly at her very inebriated friend.

"Nuh-uh, uh. You..." Jane lifts up her hand, pointing a shaky finger at the honey blonde. "You…" she continues, unaware of her lingering finger jabbing at Maura's left breast causing the doctor to slightly wince. "You my Maura, have to-have to guess. Itsa secret." She says, bringing her finger back struggling to make a zip of her mouth. "Cause itsa secret." She lets out a satisfied grin at her achievement.

Maura struggling to carry herself and the lanky detective up the steps to Jane's apartment, halters their steps for a brief moment as she realizes that Jane had just said 'My Maura.' Memories of happier times with them as a couple flashes through her mind, but she shakes them away quickly because she knows she won't be able to control any tears and she didn't need to crying tonight.

She finally manages to get Jane and herself up three flights of stairs without much help from the now quiet and detective. "Jane, where are your keys?" She now has her left arm curved around the detective's waist holding her up. "Mhmm...My Maur...a. Did'ya guessed? I tell you my keys but only if you guesses my secret." Jane giddily replies. "Itsa big one too. But I can't tell you. Its bout you, that's why not."

Maura raises an eyebrow now interested in this apparently big secret about her that Jane knows. Which is odd considering Maura pretty much knew all of Jane's secrets. The advantage of being the best friend and then eventually girlfriend. Getting a drunken Jane to give it up secrets shouldn't be too difficult. This was after all, how Maura managed to get Jane to spill that she secretly loved going to yoga, even as much as she fussed and whined abut it, she liked to ogle at Tetra, their yoga instructor, who could bend and twist herself in weird ways that just seemed too unnatural to Maura. Needless to say, Jane got herself acquainted with the couch for more than a couple nights and was forbidden to attend yoga until they found a new male instructor.

Not wanting to take advantage of Jane's state of inebriation to get this secret from her in this new friendship of theirs, Maura resigns that thought immediately.

"A-ha! I found it Maurr. I found the door." Jane yelps out as she finally notices that they have stopped and is now banging on her own apartment door.

Maura sighs. Clearly Jane was not going to be a big help.

She slips her hand away from the brunette's waist and stands across from her, holding in a smile, as Jane wavers and slumps forward crashing into her without any assistance holding her up. She hesitantly reaches for Jane's pocket looking for her keys hoping they are in there and this trip up three flights of stairs is not for nothing.

She thinks back to three days after the break-up. To the day when she gave Jane's key back. Regretting her decision at this very moment with a very drunk and giddy Jane Rizzoli clearly unable to help her.

"_What's this?" Jane's voice curt. But Maura detects a slight hint of hurt and maybe a bit of surprise hidden behind her question. _

"_Your key." Maura responds. The small brass inanimate object feels cool against her thumb and index finger. Ironically, the opposite of how she feels inside. Not knowing what to feel or how Jane would react to her giving Jane's key back. _

_This is how it works, Maura thinks. When two people break up, possessions are returned. Sides are taken. Blame is passed around. Keys. Keys should be returned to the occupants of the home. Ex-girlfriends should not keep the keys to each other's homes. Wait, was she even considered an ex-girlfriend? _

_And that there lies the problem. _

_One party wanting to keep this relationship hidden and the other simply could not any longer. _

_As the seconds pass, Maura realizes that Jane has no intention of retrieving the key from her hand, she timidly places the key on the countertop. _

_They stare at each other. Anger flaring in the detectives eyes, jaws clenched, Jane finally looks past Maura and stares at the door. Not wanting to stand in this awkward silent, Maura makes a move to turn and leave when Jane abruptly stands. Maura braces herself for another fight, but is surprised when Jane says nothing but brushes past her and heads into the bedroom. She bites her lip and looks towards to where Jane disappeared too, wondering if their exchange was over. She hears something clatter onto the ground and less than minute later, Jane walks out holding an empty box and sets it on the coffee table, not once glancing in her direction._

"_Whatever is yours…"Jane trails off, hoping that Maura gets the hint." I need to get back to the precinct. Frost's got some new information on the Kapler case." _

_Maura nods her understanding, though Jane cannot see as she continues to disregard her presence. _

_Jane reaches for her badge, gun and keys, hesitating briefly at the latter. It didn't go unnoticed.  
_

"_Jane..." Maura starts, wanting, no, hoping to get Jane to understand, but is cut off. Jane's voice, gruff and angry slices through the air, quickly "I get it Maura. We're over. Done." Jane stops and finally looks at her. Brown eyes blazing straight at her with so much fury and passion that she has to glance away for a second before settling back onto those same brown eyes she loves so much. "Returning your key. It's clear that you made up mind on how this is going to work."_

_Jane slowly walks towards her. "I gave you that key," Jane gestures towards the key still lying atop the countertop "when we were friends. Not as my girlfriend." At that, Jane stalks off and slams the door. The vibration felt around the whole apartment. _

_Maura lets the tears fall from her eyes, making no attempt to wipe them away as she clasps a hand to her mouth, not wanting to break down again in her ex-girlfriends/friend's apartment. _

_Maura looks down at the brass key just lying there, unmoving, mockingly glaring at her. She realizes something. Jane did not reciprocate. Jane did not return the key Maura gave her. _

A loud banging against the door across from Jane's apartment causes her to shake her head at the memory.

Maura shuts her eyes for a brief moment, holding in a deep and lingering breath as this was the closest to Jane that she has been near since the break-up. She lets out a triumph grin as she feels the cool brass against her fingers.

"Mhmmm…Maur. What you doing down there?" Jane mumbles. "Feelssss gooodd," she giddily continues. Maura blushing at the fact that Jane thinks she is being inappropriate in Jane's hallway complex and not wanting the neighbors thinking the same quickly sticks the key into the lock and pulls Jane in.

Once inside, she flicks on the living room lights. She doesn't hear Jo Friday bouncing in from the bedroom. Frankie must have her, she thinks. Letting her eyes scan through the apartment, she shakes her head at the detective's living space; there are case files littered across the couch and coffee table, a clutter of empty beer bottles lingering along the floor near the couch, empty Chinese food cartons atop the coffee table-knowing that Jane would never bother to dish them onto plates if Maura wasn't there to scold her into doing so.

Maura leads Jane into the hallway and swallows shakily before pushing open Jane's bedroom door. It's the first time she has been inside this room since the break up and she feels an odd sense of relief that everything looks the same. The only difference is that Jane has gotten a new bedding set. It is a shade of dark gray with a splash of light blue and green throughout which she finds suits Jane's personality very well; dark and brooding amidst a sprinkle of bright colors every now and then.

She lightly ushers Jane inside the bedroom. "Jane would you like to change into proper sleeping attire first? As I am sure those work slacks can be very uncomfortable to move around while trying to get a peaceful night's sleep after consuming copious amount of alcohol."

"Huh? Maurr. Too many Google talking," was Jane's response. Maura understanding that that would be the most coherent response from Jane gently helps her into bed, pulling the covers off first. "Ok Jane, lie down" she states patiently. Jane grumbles a muffled response before flopping herself onto the bed.

Maura goes to the dresser and pulls out a t-shirt and sweat pants as no one can be comfortable sleeping in work slacks. She moves to take off Jane's boots and socks and continues upward to change Jane into the sweat pants she found. "Jane, I'm going to undress you."

Jane giggles uncontrollably.

Maura feels herself blushing furiously at how that came out. "I- I mean I'm going to take off your pants." She covers her hand over her face, clearly this wasn't going so well.

She finally manages to get Jane changed into more comfortable clothes without further embarrassment and pulls the comforter over the now grinning detective.

"Thanks Murrr. Come here." Jane lifts her hand up into the air flexing her fingers as if beckoning for a hug. Maura lets out a huge grin at the scene. Jane lying in bed like a child would when they need a good night hug from a parent after a bed time story. Maura hesitates momentarily but then obliges and goes into giving her a hug. She feels the warmth in the pit of her stomach again whenever she is this close to Jane.

Jane wraps her hand around Maura's neck and squeezes, her mouth at Maura's ear, her warm raspy breathing sending chills up Maura's spine. After a few seconds, Maura moves to untangle herself, but Jane squeezes a little tighter, not wanting to let her go. "Maur, member my secrets." Jane breathes into her ear. Maura suppresses in a moan, the dark haired brunette's breath tickling the sensitive spot on her ear. She manages out a nod-although she already had forgotten about Jane's big secret-if only to humor the very tipsy detective. "If you wanna knows you have to say the magic worddd…" Jane says in a sing song voice.

Maura having a long night as it was already, didn't feel up to playing a game with a tipsy detective, she just wanted to get Jane in bed and asleep so she could get home, feed Bass and enjoy the warmth of her own bed. But she wanted to make sure Jane was asleep first and-Jane was not going to sleep- it sounds like until she let out this big secret that she keeps speaking of.

So, she decides to play along if it would get Jane to fall asleep quicker. "What is this secret, Jane?" What is the magic word?"

A wide grin forms on her lips "Say pleaseee..."

Maura lets out a chuckle. Jane was polite in her drunken stupor but it was like pulling teeth to get her to have manners when she was sober. "Please." Maura teases.

She can feel Jane smile against her ear. "I love you, Maura Dorthea Isles. I'm sooo in love with you." Maura's breathe hitches; she moves to pull away again but stops. Jane either too drunk to notice or doesn't care to stop continues, "I don't like that we broked up. I wished that you were mine again…My Maura…"Jane trails off softly, closing her eyes. Her hands slipping away from around the honey blonde's neck.

Maura lifts her head and stands up straight. Eyes narrowed, jaws clenched in place, she wanted to scream. She wanted to grab Jane by the arm, shake her until she woke up, yell at her and ask her why. Why now, after all this time? What is she trying to do? What is the purpose of this confession? As she looks down at Jane's sleeping form, Maura's feels her heart tightening. She wraps her arms around her chest as if protecting her heart.

Jane is finally asleep. Dozing off and slightly snoring. She looks so peaceful at this moment. Maybe she needed to let that secret out before she could fall asleep. Now it is Maura's turn to hold onto this secret.

A peaceful night sleep, something she was looking forward to, is now vanquished. She wipes away tears that have seemingly fallen without her acknowledgment or consent. She takes another look at Jane making sure that she will not fall off the bed and sound asleep before turning away.

As she steps into Jane's living room, she realizes she does not want to go home anymore. She wants to make sure that Jane is okay and can sleep through the night. She goes into the linen closet, and pulls out a couple blankets, turns off the living room light and sets herself on the couch. As she lies down, a soft glow emits from her purse.

Her phone.

She pulls out it out and reads the incoming text:

**Hey babe, did you get Jane home okay? Are you about to come home? I'll wait up. Love you. **

She holds her hand to her mouth trying to hold in her sobs as her tears flow freely from her eyes.

**A/N 2: Lemme know what you think. Continue?**

**Title is song from Brandi Carlile **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Oh man, such great reception to this story. Because of you, I wanted to get something out quick. Sorry it's short. Sadly, updates won't be this fast. But I am motivated. **

**Thanks for the reviews. I know some authors like to personally PM you, but I just don't have the time. :( Work and life and my cat and shit. But I do appreciate it. I'll try to answer the reviews with questions tho.**

**I feel like I have to apologize for the ending. You'll understand. **

**Usual disclaimers apply. **

**Enjoy!**

Bzzzz. Bzzzz. Bzzzz.

Opening her eyes, Jane immediately yelps, , "Ow, mother fu-," she grabs the top of her head willing the pounding inside to go away. At the insistent buzzing to her left, she lifts her arm and fumbles around for her phone buzzing on top of her nightstand. Finally feeling the cool phone in her hand, she presses down at the screen until the buzzing stops and throws the phone on the bed.

"I am never drinking again," she groans, grimacing at her dry throat. She rubs her hand across her face trying to remember how she got in her bed.

What happened?

All she can recall is being at the Robber, celebrating something and drinking.

Oh man, so much drinking.

Jane opens her eyes as a recollection flashes by. Ah, that's right. It wasn't a celebration, at least not for Jane.

For her, it was more like a nightmare. A freaking nightmare that needed to not be remembered. That's what alcohol was supposed to be for. Why it was invented. Much good that did her. She still remembered and on top of that, she had a throbbing pain in her neck, her left leg asleep from dangling itself off the bed, breathe that smells like death and a killer headache to boost.

God, she just hoped she didn't do anything stupid last night, that'd just be the icing on the stupid friggin' wedding cake.

She steps into the living room. Shielding her eyes from the bright glow emanating from the open curtains. Staring ahead, she glances at the clock and realizes it is only 7:30AM. Grumbling to herself for not being able to sleep in, even when hung over, she stalks past the window and stills herself immediately noticing a lump of blonde hair splayed across the end of her couch underneath the think blue quilt her mother just insists she must have.

"Oh dear God, please let it be someone I know, please, please?" Jane quietly pleads raising her head towards the ceiling as she quietly walks around the couch to get a better look at the unconscious body slumming it on her couch. As she rounds the couch, Jane catches a glimpse of a pair of very expensive looking red heels neatly laid out under her coffee table.

Maura.

She would recognize those heels anywhere. The one person she was drinking to try and forget would, of course be sleeping on her couch. Jane stills her movements and looks down at the blonde.

So beautiful.

Jane's eyes shifts downward to Maura's face to her perfect nose, full pink lips still stained with small traces of lipstick. Sédiusante. A shade that Jane knows all too well. Having had the privilege of touching them, kissing them. Her eyes moves onward, down to smooth neck, past her collar bone, feeling herself smiling at the freckles displayed on her chest, peaking at the start crease of her breast insufficiently covered by the top of her dress.

Jane takes a seat on the ottoman to the right of the couch. She doesn't know how long she sits there. Just staring. Staring at the most beautiful woman that she loved.

Loves. Will forever love.

She could just shoot herself. Again. For letting the beautiful ME fall from her grasp.

She thinks back to how it all _finally _went to shit.

"_Maura. Maura wait. I didn't know he was going to be there" Jane all but pleads grabbing Maura's arm turning her around. _

"_Don't Jane. Don't touch me. Do you understand what happened in there?" Maura snaps. "You shot my father. The same father that saved me. Flynn would have shot and possibly killed me if not for Paddy. Where were you?" Maura sneers. "Oh, that's right, you were with Dean. Instead of having my back like you promised, you betrayed me. Your boyfriend shows up and it's like I don't exist anymore. Again." her voice cracking at the last word. _

_At Jane's silence, Maura shouts, "Go," loud enough that all the crime scene techs turn their heads towards the two women. Maura lets a lonely tear slide down her face as she stares at Jane with so much disdain and hurt that Jane has to take a small step back. _

_Maura lowers her voice, "Go and be with Dean. He's hurt too." All the anger she felt seconds ago faltering. Tired and all but given up, Maura turns to leave. She stops herself, her back still facing the detective. She wills herself not to cry, she needs Jane to hear this. "I'm sorry things didn't work out between us Jane. I'm sorry I broke up with you. But Paddy didn't deserve this." She pauses, stifles a sob and looks down, "I don't deserve this." Jane doesn't know if Maura is talking about shooting Doyle or Dean showing up in Jane's personal life gain. Paralyzed at Maura's words, she cannot seem to move or say anything. So she watches as Maura walks away from her yet again. And possibly for the last time. _

It was all her fault and now Maura…Maura is taken. Perhaps forever. To be someone else's lover. To be someone else's wife.

Jane lets out a sob.

Ian's wife.

**A/N 2: Again, I'm sorry. Just remember, **_**eventually **_**Rizzles. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again. Thanks for the review everyone, Glad you're all enjoying it so far. I realize it is kind of slow going, but it should pick up after this, I think…eh, I dunno. It just writes itself. **

**FYI: Every chapter moves the story forward since the confession and each chapter will have a flashback.  
**

**Dean and Ian…ughh. I know, I know. But every story needs a couple of a-holes, makes the angst so much better, right?**

**Usual disclaimers apply. I don't have a Beta, so all those mistakes since Ch. 1 are all mine. Yep. **

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

**Enjoy!**

As if sensing someone looking at her, Maura starts to stir.

Jane makes no attempt to leave or hide that fact that she's sat in a chair across from her ex for the last 20 minutes just staring.

Maura rubs her eyes and covers a yawn. She sees Jane and sits up running a hand through her hair to smooth down her loose curls.

"Jane…" she starts surprised to see the detective, voice still hoarse from crying herself to sleep. "…good morning," she finishes, not knowing what else to say. She wondered if Jane remembered her confession from last night, or rather very early morning, as she glances at the clock across from her.

"'Morning," Jane smiles, "Thanks for um, taking care of me last night," she gestures towards the bedroom. "I'm sorry you had to sleep on the couch."

She gives Jane a weak smile. "It's quite alright Jane. I don't mind the couch. I'm just glad that we made it up here." Maura again becomes quiet. Her finger unconsciously twirling the new attachment on her finger, a new nervous habit she picked the moment she put it on.

Jane eyeing the ME's movement glances down and finally notices the ring.

Maura's engagement ring.

She unconsciously looks towards her bedroom, thinking about another engagement ring that is secured safely in a red velvet box, safely tucked away in the back of her bottom dresser.

The one she would have maybe, probably, most likely have given to Maura if Maura didn't drop a bomb on her many nights ago.

* * *

_"Fuck, Maura. Please. Please don't do this." Jane begs._

_At Maura's silence, knowing she was all but losing this battle for good, Jane cries out, "I love you."_

_Silence. And then a slap vibrates across the room. Jane on reflex touches a hand to her left cheek, feeling the stinging effects of the petite ME's hand. "NO. Don't you dare." Maura shouts, a thin finger angrily shaking at the brunette in front of her._

_At Jane's words, Maura feels her face growing hot. Eyes narrowed, zoning in on the detective in front of her. Chests heaving up and down. Breathe coming out in harsh spurts. _

_Those three words. Those same three words that Maura wanted to hear for the last 9 months have finally been spoken by the beautiful woman in front of her. But she knew it was for all the wrong reasons. She knew that was a desperate resort. She can see it in the detective's eyes. She doesn't need to hear those three words tonight. It'll come sincerely and at another time. Tonight she needs something else. Something more.  
_

_Maura not wanting to see the anguish and heartbroken look on the detective's face, slightly turns her head. "I'm sorry Jane. But I can't keep doing this. It's not fair. I won't be your second choice whenever Dean comes into town. I won't be your secret fuck..." Jane raises her eyebrows at Maura's language "...whenever it is convenient for you," her voice elevating, cursing herself for the slight tremble, wanting to be stern and direct._

_Taking a deep breath, silently encouraging herself, she continues slowly and sincerely. "I love you Jane, but I need you to love me. Truly love me. Don't just tell me, show me. Be with me. Kiss me in public. Hold my hand. Start a life together. Tell our family and friends. Let them see how good we are together. Because we can be Jane, we are." Maura looks straight into glassy brown eyes. She reaches up and cups Jane's chin, turning her around to face her. Her voice softens, "we could be so good together. This is it Jane. You asked what I wanted. I want this. You are it for me Jane Clementine Rizzoli. Please let me be it for you." Maura pleads, palms still, fingers moving upwards to caress the red cheek, remnants of the slap clearly still visible. _

_The silence is deafening. The seconds tick by… 17, 18, 19 seconds pass. Jane wants to formulate an answer but she's can't. Her heart is beating wildly in her chest, sweat forming on her palms, she feels hot all of a sudden. She desperately wants to say what Maura wants to hear. What she, herself, wants to hear. Can she do it? Can she be with Maura? Truly be with her? For everyone to know they are a couple? Is it that easy? _

_Staring straight into Jane's brown orbs, Maura can see the turmoil brewing behind those beautiful brown eyes ghosting with unshed tears. _

_Jane's face scrunches in defeat. She takes a large gulp and bites down on her teeth. She slowly blinks to allow tears eagerly awaiting deployment to fall rapidly down her cheeks. _

_Just as Jane opens her mouth to respond, she eyes movement from the blonde across from her. _

_If there was one thing that Maura hated about herself. It was having the ability to read changes in facial muscle and body language. At this moment, for instance, Maura already knows what Jane is going to say. Or rather what Jane is not going to say. It's what she has been wanting to for months. For Jane to truly be with her. Out in the open, unabashedly, unashamed. For her to say yes to Maura's final request. _

_Realizing it wasn't coming, Maura clasps a hand to her mouth, trying her best to suppress an anguish cry. It skips out anyway. Along with full blown tears streaming down her face. Without waiting for an answer, she swiftly turns around and runs out of Jane's apartment leaving behind a speechless and heartbroken detective in her wake._

* * *

They both think about that night.

For Jane, it was constantly.

What was her answer going to be? Maura didn't stick around to find out. Maura didn't hear her out. Just assumed she was going to say no. What if she would have said yes?

There was no point in what ifs now. A progressive chain of events changed the dynamics for both of them immediately following the break up. The timing was all wrong. It was like the universe didn't want them to be together. Plotted against them, like a bad lifetime movie; Dean coming back, shooting Doyle, Ian returning. Everything was unraveling right in front of them. Unforeseen circumstances prevented the two past lovers from reconciling.

Breaking Jane out of her thoughts, Maura stands up. "Well I'm glad you're okay. I'm going to go. Bass needs to be fed and I'm sure Ian's…" she catches herself and stops.

"Right...Ian." Jane solemnly repeats.

Jane sees a remorseful expression cross the ME's face.

Not wanting the ME to leave feeling guilty, Jane tried to appease the situation. "I'll drive you," she blurted out.

Maura already finished putting on her heels and was now folding up the blankets replies, "it is okay Jane, I can get a cab downstairs."

"Maur, it's below 30 outside. I'm not going to have you wait in the freezing cold this early for a cab. It's no problem, really. Let me just grab my keys," she looks around the living room, 'if I can find 'em," she mumbles.

Taking a defeated breath, she stood up and walked to her room. Once inside, she looks around, eyeing her dresser she unconsciously feels herself walk forward. Opening the bottom drawer, she reaches in the back and feels the small velvet box against trembling fingers. Pulling it out, she gets lost in the smooth curves of the gold band, three diamonds adorning at the top…

"Jane." Maura calls out snapping Jane out of her trance. She snaps the box shut. "I'll be right out," she called back.

Taking another long look, she stuck the box back in its rightful place.

She's too late.

**A/N: Whew! Damn, where does this angst come from. It's kind of scaring me.**

**I guess this balances all the fluff from all the GAYYY we saw on this week's R&I.**

**Til' next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: This is the longest chapter by far and I'm not happy about how it turned out. A filler chapter, basically. But if I don't publish it, I'm never going to have them move forward. I incorporated the episode with Ian, it's just a lot of back story. **

**For the anon reviewer who posted a criticism; don't apologize. It was constructive criticism, which is always helpful. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm always open to it. Please provide feedback. How do I know it sucks, if no one tells me, right? ;)**

**Usual disclaimers apply. I'll add Angela, Frost, Korsak and Ian on there as well.**

**Flashbacks are in Italics**

Jane steps into the café, the wave of freshly brewed coffee jolting her eyes wide open. She was exhausted and she wasn't even on call. She locked herself in her apartment all weekend wallowing in her own self-pity.

She hears her mother before she even catches sight of her. "Janie, oh Janie," Angela rushes over and starts inspecting every inch of the detective. Finding no signs of illness or missing limbs, she affixes a tight hug before Jane can escape.

Jane flushes, looking around the café, shooting a glare towards a beat cop smirking at the tough detective being caught in a tender moment. He catches her dirty look and scampers away bumping into a chair but didn't dare stop.

Smiling inside, satisfied that she can still send officers scattering with just a glare, she now turns her attention to the woman squeezing the life out of her, rolling her eyes at the dramatic-ness that is Angela Rizzoli, she gently pulls out of her grip.

"Ma, Ma. Ok. Not at work, alright "she finally gets out of her mother's arms.

Angela now seeing that Jane is physically fine glowers at the stubborn detective, "Don't you ever scare me like that again, Jane Rizzoli. Do you know how worried I was? You don't answer your phone, sending me away at the door. I swear between you and your brothers, I am going to have a heart attack before I even get grandchildren." Jane watches her mother shout at her, scowl in place, hands and arms flailing about.

Sensing her mother was not going to stop anytime soon, she gently grabs at her mother's arms and looks her in the eye. "Ma, I'm sorry, ok?" Jane gives her mother her best sincere face. "I just needed some time to myself. No work, no mothers or brothers, just a nice quiet weekend." Jane finishes softly, hoping her mother can understand.

At Jane's earnest words, Angela raises her eyebrows "A nice… why Jane? Why do you need a quiet weekend away from the people that love you? What's going on? I'm your mother, I deserve to know." Angela firmly states, arms crossed.

Jane lets out a smile. At least someone still cared. "It's nothing I can't get over Ma. I gotta get to work, but I'll stop by later, ok? I love you." she bends to kiss her mother on the cheek and turns away.

She feels her phone buzz with an incoming text. **Jane, I have the results of the tox screen for Kelly Stamford. Whenever you are ready, I'll be in the morgue. Maura**

Jane frowns at Maura's text. That's odd. No greeting and straight to the point. Even through text, Maura always sounds so friendly and warm. This sounded cold and standoffish. This felt like the Maura from after their break up, not the Maura that she befriended again.

_Hmm_. Jane tries to remember if she did or said something to the ME this weekend to make her annoyed at the detective, but couldn't come up with anything. Well except the night of the engagement announcement, she did get pretty drunk, but she couldn't recall ever being near Maura that night. Ian was attached to her like white on rice. Jane's lips turn in disgust even at just the thought of the damn doctor. She never liked the guy, he was and will always be a criminal to the detective. Stepping into the elevator, Jane recalls the memory of being introduced to Ian for the very first time.

* * *

"_Hey ma, can I get a cup of coffee, black" Jane puts in an order._

"_So, did you meet Dr. Isles' new hunk?" Angela casually brings up._

"_What?" Jane shrieks out. Angela ignoring her daughter's outburst continues on "Ian. He's some sort of colleague of hers. Conferring on a case at 6:30 in the morning. Ha, they think I was born yesterday. They spent the night." She smirks, oblivious to Jane's shift in mood. _

"_Ian spent the night?" Jane was seeing red. Who the fuck was Ian? Maura's certainly never mentioned any Ian's. "Uh-huh, didn't she tell you?" surprise coloring Angela's face._

"_Yea…yes. Bye ma." Jane grounds out gripping the warm cup in hand. Angela watches her daughter stomp out of the café heading to towards the elevators._

_Jane angrily pulls open the lab door with so much force that it makes a loud bang against the wall at its release, startling the lab techs. _

_She walks over to Maura, "who the hell is Ian?" she barks accusingly at the petite ME. _

_Maura opens her mouth in shock, glancing at the lab techs who have taken a sudden interest in the detective's presence, "Jane, let's go to my office." She calmly states leading Jane out of the room. "Ohhh lets," Jane says voice dripping with sarcasm. _

_Once inside her office, Maura closes the door and leans against it. She watches as Jane swiftly turns around, arms crossed, feet apart and firm scowl in place. Maura releases a deep breath. "Ian is an old friend."_

_Jane lets her arms fall before raising them up again in frustration "That's it. That's all I get. You're not going to tell me anything about him?"_

_Maura thinks it over "I'm not, not telling you about him. He just stopped by this morning."_

_Jane straightens up sharply to look at Maura, surprised she didn't break out in hives. Jane tried to look nonchalant, like what Maura said didn't bother her, but inside she was furious. Maura spent the night with her ex and now just lied to her face. She firmly puts on a mask of indifference "I heard he stopped by last night."_

_Maura tenses at Jane's words, blowing out a defeated sigh. Of course Jane would find out. She found out about Ian. How did she think she could keep something like this from Jane? Jane always finds out. "Um, he lives in Africa. It's complicated. But Jane I assure you whatever you heard, it isn't true. He stopped by to say hi and needed a place to stay. I have a guestroom, I very well couldn't have said no."_

"_Uh, yes you can Maura. You want to know why?" Her voice rises, anger getting the best of her. Not waiting for an answer she carries on," because he's your ex, Maura, ex. And me" she stabs a finger at her chest "I am your current, not your ex. I have a right to know what the hell is going on." _

_Maura was now admittedly beginning to be a little irritated. "Are you, Jane? Are we together? I'm sorry, all this time I thought we were oh, how did you put it 'just having fun' I didn't realize that I had to report to you whenever a friend stops by. Next time, I'll make sure to get your permission seeing as how you're my girlfriend but only in secret" she barks back defensively. "And by the way, we are not together at the moment."_

_Jane clenches her jaw taking short rapid breaths through her nose, chest heaving up and down at hearing her own words being thrown right back at her. "Fine. If you find anything on the case, call Frost. I mean, who am I to help you with your findings or with your complicated love life?" She sneers turning around and stomping out of the lab without letting Maura respond. _

_Jane jabs at the up button for the elevator. She was furious, she couldn't believe Maura would do this to her. Of all the crap that Maura's been spilling about being together, being monogamous. Bullshit, that's what it was. As the elevator dings open, she steps out not bothering to look up as she bumps into another body. Still reeling from her fight with Maura she was in no mood to apologize, "Ow. Dammit. Watch where you going, huh?" she shouts. Looking up she's met with a familiar face of an FBI agent. _

_Two days later, Jane irritated with the case before her and getting nowhere with her suspects, plops down on the stool in front of her mother with a coffee in hand. _

"_I have a basket for a Dr. Maura Isles." _

"_I'll sign for it," Angela grins giddily opening the card. _

"_Ma" Jane yells. _

"_It ok, it's from Ian." Angela says as if she got permission from the man himself. "Who the hell gives toilet paper as gifts?" Jane grunts out._

_Angela notices Jane's somber mood, "she's real secretive with this one, isn't she?" Jane blurts out a no. Angela gives her a look. "Yes" she admits. _

"_Hurts your feelings that she's not confiding in you." she gives Jane a sincere look. "I'm sorry sweetheart." Jane feeling uncomfortable with her mother's persistency pretends to jot something down. "I don't care. You know, I don't need to know every detail of her personal life. It's ok. We're just friends. That's all." She pauses, "Just friends" she reiterates mumbling to herself. _

_Angela's eyebrow raises to her forehead at hearing Jane's words, however she chooses to ignore it, "but she usually tells you."_

"_Yea."_

_Angela continues "he seems charming, but you know those are the ones you really have to worry about." _

_Jane takes a moment to ponder what her mother said and confesses her thought "I got a really weird vibe from him." _

_It's been two days since she's seen the ME. Neither one wanting to admit defeat. Jane was fine with that. She was still reeling from their fight. That is until Angela's snooping around pays off and confides in Jane her findings._

_Jane doesn't look please to have this information. In fact, she hates it, but she needed to find out what Ian is up to and make sure that Maura is safe. He's interfering, coming between Maura and herself. She'll thank me for this, she thinks. I'm doing the right thing, I'm keeping Maura safe. She'll thank me for letting her know that her ex is an international criminal. I'm doing this for her; I'm doing this for her. Jane repeats that mantra over and over in her head. No matter how many times she says it, it stills feels like she is betraying her best friends trust. _

"_Ian is wanted by Interpol for questioning." Jane announces upon entering the morgue. Maura looks appalled, "You've been investigating me?" she accuses. Jane is taken aback, frowning at the attitude in Maura's tone. Before she can formulate a response, she feels Korsak pulling her away._

_The next night, she finds herself knocking on a familiar wooden door and comes face to face with her girlf- her Maura. "Hi." Jane sheepishly greets, rubbing the back of her neck. _

"_Hi" Maura responds._

"_Are you okay?" Jane asks._

_Maura shakes her head, straining to hold onto her tears as she walks away, an apologetic detective following closely behind. Jane glances around the living room, noticing it is a lot less cluttered "where's Ian?" she casually asks. _

"_He's gone. I harbored a fugitive. Go ahead and arrest me." Maura says with absolute seriousness. Jane's heart melts. She holds in a smile as she discerns that Maura is being absolutely serious and breaking out in a grin would have certainly eradicated her apology no matter how adorable Maura looked at this moment. _

"_I'm sorry" Jane apologizes. Maura, not understanding why Jane is apologizing scrunches her face in confusion "because you won't be able to arrest him." Jane looks taken aback, hurt flashes across her face before she immediately replaces it with annoyance. "No, Maura" she barks out defensively "because he's an asshole who was taking advantage of your kindness and hospitality. He stored stolen items in your home, making you an accessory to his crime."_

_Maura ignores the heated tone of Jane's words, but her heart warms at Jane's protectiveness . "You know when people talk about the loves of their lives…" she stops and looks into fiery brown eyes "That was Ian." She stands up and brings her arms around the seething detective. "That was Ian" she reiterates pressing her face into Jane's chest, squeezing tighter._

_Jane sighs in defeat. "I'm sorry Maura." Maura knows Jane only did it to get Ian away from her. She feels torn between being loved and angry that Jane doesn't trust her. "I'm not sorry about what I did, just how I went about it." _

"_It makes me so sad. How can you love someone and not be able to be with them." Pulling away and gazing straight into brown orbs, wanting to make sure that Jane understands what she is about to say, she carries on, "truly be with them." _

_Jane stays silent. She knows what Maura is asking of her. Of them, of their relationship. Or lack thereof. _

_Once again, blatantly ignoring Maura's words she asks, "Want me to sit with you 'til you feel better?" Maura nods, sniffling into her tissue. Jane's heart breaks. She goes to hug the petite doctor. She blinks to allow tears to fall, guilt consuming her as she thinks back to last night. _

_To Dean. _

_She hugs Maura tighter, not wanting to let go, ever. _

* * *

But let go, she did. Or rather Maura let her go. Thinking back, she only had herself to blame. Of course, Maura wasn't innocent in any of this; they both had issues to work through. It was ignorance and denial on both parties, but she could say that she fucked this royally.

To be honest, she did think that they would get back together. They always did. They just needed a break, some time to let the occurrences of their lives die down and let things get back to normal. Unfortunately, when things did simmer down, Jane was not the one to pick them back up again. Ian was.

Jane had hoped that he would be a distraction for a little while. Let him take over and then leave like he always did. As it turns out, Jane was wrong, Ian was just not some rebound, he proved to be the real deal for Maura. He ended up staying for good.

Now Maura is engaged. She was just going to have to face the fact that Maura will never be hers again. Maura has moved on. So why shouldn't she? It's been 14 months since they broke up. Maura hasn't been available for 9 of those 14 months and they had only rekindled their friendship 4 months ago. There was no way she would go and say something stupid like 'I still love you, please don't marry Ian' and not have Maura return the sentiment which would then destroy their friendship forever this time.

Friendship. At least, she still had that from Maura. She could be a friend. She could sit by and watch Ian and Maura live together, get married, have kids, start a life together, and grow old together. God, her heart was aching just thinking about it.

She loves Maura so much, but an engagement was nothing to gloss over. It was a big deal, serious shit, especially if the other person said yes. She could not bring herself to ruin Maura's happiness. She was just going to have to keep this to herself. Maura could never find out about her feelings 'nor the ring she bought on a whim when she passed by it and couldn't not buy the damn thing. She was not really one for marriage, but seeing that ring she could picture herself proposing to the beautiful ME one day… someday. That day has passed, now she needed to move on.

Running a hand through her hair and letting out a long breath, she pushes open the doors to the morgue ready to be the doting best friend again.

**A/N: *Sighs.*I still don't like it. **

**Alright. We're about to get to the good stuff. Actual interactions between Maura and Jane in current time.  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Alright gang. Sorry, this one took a little longer. Moving soon. So unpacking, and moving, and unpacking again will limit my updates. **

**I love that idea anon, of Maura finding the ring. I had a whole 'nother idea, but yours sounds so much angst-sier. **

**No Betas. Damn tired to proof read, so all those mistakes are mine. **

**Disclaimers: I own nothing. Literally nothing. Oh, except my cat. Totally owns that, pooping, eating, sleep all damn day lazy piece of furball. **

**Flashback in Italics.**

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Perfecting her deep breathing, Maura is ready to start a new chapter in her life. Ever since Jane's confession, she has decided that best way to go about it was to ignore it. Pretend it never happened. She had too much on her plate right now. She just got engaged. She had a wedding to plan, she hadn't even told her parents yet. Now was not the time to think about past lovers. She would just have to forget it ever happened, feign ignorance, and keep a good distance from the detective. It wasn't going to be easy because it wasn't so long ago that they rekindled their friendship. Things were going well. It wasn't like the friendship they had before they were a couple with the bantering, light touching, subtle flirting here and there, sleepovers and movie nights but they were making an effort. Things were progressing nicely along. She even offered to take the drunken detective home on the night of her own engagement party. She was being a good friend. A best friend.

Maura is shaken out her thoughts as she sees Jane breezing in through the morgue doors. The smile plastered on the detective's face was infectious, she found herself unable to control her own facial muscle as a small grin was beginning to form. Remembering her own advice, she quickly replaces it with professional indifference.

"Hey Maur, you got something for me?" Jane walks over and stands next to the ME taking a peak over her shoulder at the folder in Maura's hand.

Maura tenses at the proximity of being so close to the detective. She hasn't smelled the scent of musk and subtle hints of feminine softness emanating from the detective in so long.

Collecting herself she greets the detective "Hello Jane." She walks to the end of the table for nothing else but to give herself a little bit of space. "I do. The tox screen results came back positive for gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid. That combined with the large quantity of alcohol that she consumed facilitated to her cause of death," she finishes.

Jane gives a questioning glance at Maura's departure but says nothing of it. Continuing off of Maura's findings she thinks out loud. "So our Vic was drugged at the bar, carried to her car and was presented to make it seem like she was raped. But no semen was found anywhere on or near her and there was no indication besides the torn dress that was placed nearby that she was possibly raped. The suspect wants us to believe she was raped. But why?"

Maura watches as Jane is lost in thought, collecting all the clues and piecing them together. She loves to see this side of Jane; the passion and the fire in her eyes when she is on to something.

Snapping out of her musings, Jane says "I'm going to have Frost pick up the boyfriend again. I think he knows a lot more than he led on."

"Thanks Maur." Jane says. She catches Maura's eyes smiling at the ME, but Maura breaks away stating monotone "you're welcome, Detective."

Jane opens her mouth to speak but she sees the doctor already on to the next task at hand as if the detective had already left.

Jane feels chills all of a sudden, as if the morgue just got eerily cold. She can sense something is bothering the ME.

"Jane?" Maura is talking to her. "Jane, is there something else you need?" Jane furrows her brows at Maura's unsubtle way of kicking her out of the morgue.

"Um, I didn't get a chance to say congratulations. Your…" she gestures to Maura's ring, "your engagement. I had a pretty rough day and I got carried away at your party. I'm sorry if I ruined your evening" Jane sincerely states.

Hearing the sincerity in Jane's apology, Maura smiles "You didn't ruin anything Jane and thank you" Maura self-consciously covers her ring with her hand.

Silence feels the air. "You want to grab lunch later. I told Ma I'll stop by so she can check that I'm okay, apparently Iocking yourself in your apartment all weekend is a cry for help." Jane awkwardly laughs out.

Maura opens her mouth horrified at Jane's confession "you locked yourself in your apartment all weekend?" she asks. Jane bites her lip. Damn, Maura didn't know.

"Um, yea. I didn't feel too good after…Hangover and such..." Jane let out. At Jane's word Maura feels the tightness in her chest return. She knows it wasn't the whole truth but let it slide knowing the real reason for Jane's wanted isolation.

She clears her throat and takes a step back clearing up items scattered on the table looking everywhere but Jane. "Sorry, I can't. I have several reports to finish up here. I don't think I would even be able to leave for lunch let alone have any." Maura answers formally.

"OK." Jane says, confusion written all over her face. Clearly Maura was brushing her off but she didn't understand why.

"Alright. I'll see you later," Jane says. She takes one more look at Maura who is currently busying herself, the detective and walks out.

* * *

Jane plops herself down across from Frost at the Dirty Robber. It's been an exasperating couple of weeks for the group. They worked tirelessly to find Kelly Stamford's killer. It was now a night for celebration for another successful closed case. Jane ordered a couple of beers for Frost and herself awaiting Korsak's arrival.

"Jane, is the doc meeting us here? You did tell her, right?" Frost asks.

Jane takes a sip of her beer before answering "Um, yea. She says she's unable to make it. Something about Ian, something or another. I stopped listening after Ian."

Frost chuckles "you're such a great friend Jane."

Jane chuckles in return. "Hey Frost, has Maura been off with you lately? Cause she's been giving me the cold shoulder ever since her party. Calling me Detective Rizzoli again, ignoring me, and brushing off all my requests to hang out. It's kind of weird, even for Maura" Jane exclaims adding a little humor to throw Frost off.

Frost just shrugs, "She seems fine to me. She's been bringing some weird drink called kombucha. Tastes like rotten fungus fermenting on my tongue. Ugh. I think she's trying to get me drunk, Jane" Frost says laughing.

Jane just smiles at her partner, but feeling a pang of jealousy that Maura hasn't given her anything in weeks.

The next night, Jane finds herself going down to the morgue giving out another invite to the doc, hoping she doesn't get shut down again. Jane walks up to Maura's office ready to knock but she sees the ME's back turned looking at something on her bookshelf. Moving to get a better view, Jane sees what Maura is looking at. It's the rice necklace that Jane got off the streets for 5 bucks but Maura loves so much because it had the word Jane inscribed on a grain of rice and fit perfectly where it lay right in the middle of Maura's chest above her heart.

* * *

"_Jane…don't you dare." Maura's voice stern but light as she runs to put the couch in between her, the artifact in question and the detective. A coy grin coats the detective's face at Maura's words. "You started it babe," she raises her eyebrows suggestively at the topless ME. The only clothing above her waist was the rice necklace Jane gave her earlier that morning. Jane slowly makes her way towards the honey-blonde grin still in place causing Maura to walk backwards around the couch. The doctor bumps into the end table causing her to stop which in turn halts Jane's steps. Giving Jane a smirk she turns to try and make a quick dash into the bedroom, but the detective is too quick for the honey-blonde and in one swift motion she lifts the petite doctor off the floor bridal style. The squeal of the ME's laughter flowing through the apartment. _

_Jane reaches the bed and gently lays the ME in the middle, brown eyes never leaving hazel. Slowly and methodically, she lifts her legs and sets them over the ME's smooth toned ones. She lays horizontal against the ME, her skin now burning with desire as she feels Maura's flat stomach warm against her own. She is relying on her elbows to keep her bare chest hovering inches from the ME's own. She lowers her lips onto smooth creamy skin, placing hot kisses right above the collar bone. She moves her lips along bare skin from left to right getting lost in the sweet scent of Maura's perfume. Hearing the first moans of pleasure erupting from the doctor beneath her she grins and bites down on the honey-blondes neck. She feels soft warm hands roughly scratching at her back in pleasure as she let her teeth lightly scrape Maura's neck. As she inches closer to soft pink lips she moves her hands downward wanting to touch firm supple breast grazing against her own. Lips almost reaching their destination, she lightly bites on the MEs chin before moving upwards and finally capturing soft awaiting lips. She pulls away and looks into dark pupils dripping with arousal. A loud persistent knock makes her turn away. _

_Face clearly in displeasure and irritation she looks towards the front door willing the person to go away. Hearing another loud knock instead of the silence she was hoping for she lets out an annoyed growl and gets off the apologetic looking doctor from under her. _

_She picks up her robe from the floor, eyeing movement from the bed, she sees Maura start to get out of bed. She points a finger at the honey-blonde "you stay" she says firmly, "I'm going to kill whoever's at the door" winking at the honey-blonde she turns to leave. _

_Replacing her smile with an angry frown, she rips open the door, "what?" she barks angrily before surprise takes over as she comes face to face with the last person she and no doubt Maura would want to see right now. _

"_Dean? What are you doing here?" Jane moves to close the door blocking the view of her apartment. _

_Dean smiles at Jane clearing his throat "can I come in?" he asks voice hopeful. _

"_No." Jane quickly shouts. Realizing her rise in tone, she lowers her voice, "I'm kind of tired."_

"_Oh," Dean's smile falters. "I thought after the other night. You know…" he trails off. "You kind of left abruptly. I haven't heard from you" he finishes. Jane grimaces at Dean's words hoping to God the doctor is not listening right now. _

"_So you show up at my apartment. Aren't you supposed to be in D.C?" Jane asks but not caring for an answer she moves to close the door, "look, I'm kind of in the middle of something. Good bye Dean."_

_Gabriel quickly puts up a hand to stop the door, "Jane, I stayed for you" he appeals. _

"_I didn't ask you to Dean" Jane's voice firm, she closes the door on the agent. _

_She lets out a breath and turns to retreat back to her bedroom but halters her steps when she see spots Maura wrapped in one of her robes leaning against way eyes cast downward. _

"_Maur" Jane says and Maura looks up instantly an unreadable expression on her face. _

_Maura looks past Jane towards the closed door that held Agent Dean just a few seconds ago. _

"_What did Agent Dean mean by the other night, Jane?" Maura asks voice small but continuing on "did you sleep with him?"_

_Jane clenches her jaw and looks away desperately wanting to lie to spare the ME's feelings but knowing it would only hurt the ME more, she confesses to the truth. She opens her moth to answer the honey-blonde but seeing the wounded look already forming on the doctor's face she can only let out a nod._

_She feels her heart clench in pain as she sees the ME's biting her lower lip trying to hold back tears. A lonely tear drops anyway as Maura makes no move to wipe them away. Not knowing what to do to make the situation better, she stands still waiting for Maura to make the first move._

_Maura doesn't disappoint as she turns and heads into the bedroom. Jane follows swiftly behind, "Maura" she pleads as she sees the ME collecting her clothes off the floor in a hurry. "I...we-we weren't together then." She weakly exclaims. _

_Maura stills as she has finished dressing but doesn't turn to face the detective, feeling the betrayal and hurt closing in on her chest, the doctor speaks quietly, "we are never together, Jane. We just…are."_

* * *

Snapping out of the happy memory and its ugly ending, Jane walks back out not wanting to intrude on Maura's moment. She purposely makes a loud nose before calling for the ME.

Maura quickly stuffs the necklace into her lab coat.

"Hey Maur, we're done for the day up there. You want to get a drink?" Jane asks.

Maura smiles at the thought of relaxing at the Robber with the group, something she hasn't done in a while.

"Everyone?" she questions.

Jane nods confused at Maura's question. "Yea. Everyone. After a day like this. I need a good drink."

Maura's makes a face at this but doesn't say anything. "Alright. Ready to go? I'll walk with you." Jane says turning toward the door.

"I'll walk myself. Thanks" Maura says, her last words biting.

Jane noticing the tone in Maura's words spins around, hands on hips, scowl in place, she goes to close the door. She was going to get to the bottom of Maura's cold shoulder if it was the last thing she did today. "Alright. I've had about enough of this. Is there something you want to say to me Maura?"

Maura feigns innocence and disinterest, "I don't know what you mean Jane. I have nothing to say to you. Now could you please move so that I may leave?" displeasure coating the ME's words.

Jane isn't the bit intimidated. "No."

"No?" Maura repeats surprise at the detective's direct disobedience towards her.

"No. I'm not leaving…"she gestures between the two. "...and you are not leaving until you tell me why you've been ignoring me and giving me crap all week. I thought we were past all this" Jane exclaims crossing her arms in exasperation.

Maura huffs, annoyed with Jane's antics "just watch me." She snakes her arm around Jane to reach for the knob but Jane swiftly moves to the right blocking her path. Maura stops her hands in midair anger painting her face, "Jane, Please move."

"No." Jane repeats.

The air is thick with tension as the ME stares straight into firm unwavering brown eyes. The seconds tick by neither making a move to admit defeat. The silence lingers. Sensing that Jane was deadly serious about locking them both in her office all night, Maura throws her hands up in frustration and walks across the room. "You are unbelievable Jane. What do you want from me?" Maura raises her voice in defiance.

Not missing a beat Jane shouts back "I want you to tell me what I did wrong." Sighing in defeat, Jane lowers her voice to an almost silent whisper, "I'm sorry, okay? Whatever it is, I'm sorry. I hate that you are mad at me. Just…What did I do? Let me fix it" Jane begs.

Maura looks away at hearing Jane's agonizing words not trusting herself not to cry at the detective's pleadings.

Jane's shoulders sag at the ME's downward posture, arms crossed, face somber and eyes glistening with tears, she knows that Maura has shut down and whatever it is that the detective did wrong, it wouldn't be coming out of the ME tonight.

Jane moves to free the path to the doorway. Maura wipes away tears that have finally found its way down her cheeks. She takes slow steps making her way towards the door. When she reaches the detective she lets her hands lightly graze the detective's hands before she finally speaks "It can't be fixed Jane." She opens the door and walks out.

It was spoken so low that if it weren't for the deafening silence before them, the detective would have never heard it. But she did. And it hurts. Jane's grips onto the necklace in her left hand and stares at Maura's retreating form, now realizing what she did wrong. She remembers. She told Maura she still loves her.

**A/N: Whatcha think? Tired of the angst. I threw a little pre smut/fluff in there…kind of. **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I squeaked one out in the midst of my moving and cuz I can't sleep. I took an anons suggestion for the intro of a new character. You may or may not like.**

**Don't jump :). Think happy thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one, but man if I did…R&I would be like my fanfic…all the drama and no stupid crime taking up precious Rizzles moments.**

**Flashback in italics-it's actually a sweet one.**

**Enjoy!**

Exhausted and feeling crappy after Maura walked out on her and all but shattered her heart once again, she walks up to her apartment ready to crawl into bed to shut herself out from her pathetic love life. She can hear Jo Friday barking and jumping wildly about as she unlocks her apartment door. Leaving her door ajar, she bends down and Jo pounces on the detective barking and licking her owners face. "Hey there Jo, miss me?" Jane coos rubbing the mutt's belly.

"She's adorable" a voice behind her startles the detective, she picks up Jo and stands up. Turning around she comes face to face with a tall slender brunette smiling down at Jo.

"She is pretty cute when she's not yapping in your ear at 3 in the morning wanting to go for a walk" Jane affectionately says to the pup rubbing her head.

"I'm Riley. Just moved across the hall from you" she gestures behind her.

Jane peeks over the woman's shoulder and sees boxes cluttered all over the entrance to her apartment.

"Oh right. I saw you earlier this morning unloading your car." Jane holds out her hands, "I'm Jane." Riley reciprocates. "And this here is Jo Friday." She nods towards the pup panting in her arms.

"Well, if you need any help moving in or anything at all, I'm just across the hall" Jane said.

"I'll be sure to take you up on that offer. See you around, Jane" smirking Riley gives her new neighbor a wink and turns around.

Jane watches her neighbor saunter off back into her apartment, brows knotted in confusion.

* * *

Ugh, Sunday night dinner. She wanted to be anywhere but here, but she promised her mother she would come after missing the last two and if she bailed out on another one of these, she would never hear the end of it. Facing Maura was the only thing she dreaded. She hadn't spoken to Maura outside of work content since the night in the morgue and now she was going to have to sit and eat with the ME and her adoring fiancée pretending everything was just peachy.

Jane sits in her car for a few more minutes to quell her nerves, but the ringing of her phone startles her. She picks it up and rolls her eyes when _Ma_ flashes on her screen.

"Ma, I just pulled up." She groans into her phone while walking up to the front door.

Angela huffs at Jane's greeting, "well you're late Jane. You missed helping out to make your grandmothers special gnocchi."

Jane rolls her eyes as she sees her mother at the front door. "Gee, how will I ever live with myself now?"

Angela has her hands on her hips, face in a scowl staring at the late detective, "Jane. You be good tonight. You've missed the last two family dinners while not at work, might I add. It wouldn't kill you to have a nice dinner with your family."

"Yes, it would" she mumbles to herself.

Stepping into the dining room, she is met with familiar faces all looking up and nodding their greetings.

"Hey Jane" both Tommy and Frankie tosses over their shoulder too engrossed in their food look up.

"Hello Jane. Glad you could make it" Ian greets her with a smile. She couldn't bring herself to do the same. Instead she mumbles a "hey" in his general vicinity which also housed Maura who was currently staring at her empty dinner plate.

"Hello Jane." A soft voice greets her back.

Jane curses herself for being late, as the only seat left was right across from the honey-blonde next to her brothers. She warily plops herself down not making any eye contact with the woman across from her wanting to eat quickly and quietly so she could leave as soon as possible.

No such luck as Angela starts right in with the conversation. "It's so great everyone is here. How is everyone? How's work going?" The Rizzoli side of the table lets out a muffled "fine," "sucks," "tired" at the same time. Angela sighs and shakes her head at her children and instead turns to the only couple at the table. "So Maura, how are things going with the wedding plans? You know if you need any help, Jane and I are more than happy to assist you. You couldn't possibly be doing all of this on your own"

Jane coughs loudly startling the group. All eyes turn towards her, "sorry" she mutters. Clearing her throat she looks towards the head matriarch "Ma, leave Dr. - Maura alone. She doesn't need any help, especially from me I'm no good at that stuff."

She can see Maura look up and face her through the corner of her eye, but she didn't dare turn to look at the doctor.

"Thank you for the offer Angela, but we've decided to hire a wedding planner. With my odd works hours and Ian being fairly new at Boston Gen we thought it would be more resourceful to have someone makes the calls and provides us with suitable choices and we would have the final say. I mean we have nothing picked out, we don't even know where to start" Maura answers.

Jane lets out a scoff before Angela can give her disapproval at Maura's wedding planner idea. Maura whips her head to face the detective. "Is there something you want to say Jane?" she snaps at the detective.

Jane looks across from her at Maura's icy tone purposely waiting a few second before answering. "Nope," she replies nonchalantly.

Maura isn't convinced, not liking Jane's blasé attitude "Just by the snort you let out, it sounds like you don't agree with my-our decision." She states.

The table remains quiet as their eyes wander back and forth at the two women.

Finally Jane speaks, "why do you care what I think. It's your wedding. Do whatever the hell you please." Jane shrugs but continues on "I just remember a time when you told me of your dream wedding, I mean you had your cake, dress and even the location picked out. Kind of odd how you need someone to make decisions for you now" Jane finishes glaring at the ME daring her to prove her wrong.

She sees Maura's chin quiver, eyes cast downward, biting her lips to no doubt keep her tears at bay. Jane feels a pang of guilt at bringing back memories of Maura's excitement of telling Jane her dream wedding and coercing the detective to let out her own after they christened Jane's new mattress in the middle of her living room.

* * *

"_My cake is going to have hazel nut almond and maybe mocha butter cream. My gown would be silk char Meuse with an empire waist and a 20 foot train and the ceremony would be in the cliffs of Santorini right above a volcano." Maura dreamily recounts her fantasy wedding. _

"_What if the volcano erupts?" Jane asks skeptically _

"_Oh, I'll check for seismic activity" Maura replies. _

"_Of course" Jane chuckles at the seriousness of Maura's tone. _

"_You must have a wedding fantasy when you were little; come on every little girl has one" Maura pouts._

_Jane snorts at Maura's adorable pout, before deciding to finally humor the honey blonde. She tells Maura of her childhood wedding fantasy and Maura's laughter fills the room at Jane's Red Sox wedding. _

_They both become quiet before Maura speaks again. "Okay. Those are our childhood wedding fantasies. Realistically speaking, the probabilities of those two weddings actually becoming true are highly improbable. Well, at least yours is. What would be your actual wedding now?" Maura eyes the detective subtlety trying to test the waters to see if Jane has put any thought into the future of their relationship. _

_Jane rolls over to face her lover. "I don't know. I haven't given it much thought. But I'm sure you have. So tell me" Jane urges. _

_Maura gazes into warm brown eyes, "well I would still have the same cake and wedding gown because those two are very plausible ideas. But I would want my location to be right here in Boston. Somewhere overlooking Cape Code, there would be breathtaking views of the ocean near the cliffs and exchange our vows as the sun sets with only my close family and friends present. It would be a small wedding, nothing too grand so that I can perfect and plan every little detail together with my fiancé." Maura smiles at the vision in her head omitting the fact that hopefully Jane would be that same fiancée. _

_Maura looks intently at the brunette trying to gauge her reaction. After a beat, Jane responds "I actually like that idea. But I would add something." _

_Maura quirks an eyebrow at her, but keeps quiet urging Jane to continue._

"_I would want Jo Friday and even Bass to be there. I don't care how odd it would look. " Jane chuckles and looks into kind hazel orbs wanting Maura to understand her words "one day, you will get that dream wedding, I don't know when but I can promise you, that you will. I know I have said this so many times that it might not mean much to you anymore, but it does. I just need a little more time. Can you give me more time?" _

_Maura beams at Jane's answer feeling her heart warm that Jane is openly talking about their nonexistent wedding and marrying her someday, too blissfully in love to even think about Jane's repeated attempts to ask for more time to come out as a couple. She moves to sit on top of the detective kissing her passionately. Break time was over, time for round three._

* * *

"Excuse me" Maura mutters solemnly as waves of memories flash by. She gets up and sharply walks away not wanting anyone to see her tear up and wonder why what Jane said bothered her so much.

Jane curses herself for bringing up old memories that have clearly had an effect on the honey blonde.

Ian gets up to follow the doctor, but Jane stops him. "Ian, let me" she says already walking to where Maura disappeared to not waiting for a response.

"Maura?" Jane calls out knocking on the bathroom door. Silence. "Please open the door" she pleads.

Seconds pass and Maura opens the door, eyes still watery. "I'm fine." She says trying to walk past the detective. But Jane grabs a hold of her wrist and pushes her back into the bathroom closing the door.

Maura gasps at Jane's forcefulness. "I'm sorry." Jane apologizes. "I didn't mean to bring up…" she trails off unsure of how to finish "…old memories. I didn't say it to make you cry"

Maura doesn't look at her. "It's fine Jane. I overreacted; it's just that my amygdala and my lacrimal gland have a connection that I can't really control. Besides I probably deserved it."

Jane questioningly glances at the ME, but says nothing letting Maura continue. "Since we're apologizing, I'd like to apologize for my behavior these couple of weeks. I was acting irrationally to…" Maura pauses not wanting Jane to know why she was acting cold towards her. Maura shakes her head "…it doesn't matter. I'm just sorry."

Jane bites her bottom lip, eyes cast downward, bouncing on her heels. It was now or never. She promised herself she was going to move on, but she needed assurance.

"You know, don't you?" Jane says softly more of a statement than a question.

Maura stares at the detective knowing what Jane was asking without having to state the obvious as Jane was purposely being vague. All she can do is nod.

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Maura shakes her head. Jane nods her understanding.

"Do you…" Jane pauses taking a hard swallow "feel the same?" she finishes softly voice hopeful. She's never felt so vulnerable than at this moment waiting for Maura's answer.

Maura takes a moment before answering. "I'm engaged Jane" is all she offers up.

Jane snaps her head to the honey blonde, knowing Maura was purposely skirting the question as to not tell a lie, she opens her mouth to respond when a knock interrupts them.

"Um, are you two okay in there?" a voice bellows from the other side of the door.

Maura looks away and walks past the detective to open the door "yes, Ian. Everything is fine. Let's finish dinner."

Jane watches Maura walk away without another glance backwards leaving her alone with the ME's fiancé.

Jane clears her throat and goes to follow behind the ME, but a hand grips her arm. She halts her steps and glances at the hand before looking up to its owner. "Ian" she says through clench teeth.

Ian lets go of her arm and glares at the detective, "I need you to stay away from Maura. She doesn't want you anymore Jane. You had your chance" he says walking away leaving no room for a response.

Jane froze. She couldn't respond even if she wanted to. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, she was having trouble breathing, she grabs onto the door to try and hold herself up.

_Fuck._ What did Ian know?

**A/N: This is where the corny drama music would come into play…**

**That flashback was kind of sweet, right? Kind of? Maybe?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So sorry for delay in updates. Been busy with the move, holidays and crap. I had this chapter written down already but after re-reading it, it sucked so I deleted and started over. **

**I want to thank you all for the wonderful reviews and follows, favorites, etc. Your reviews are too funny!  
**

**I have to admit I wrote myself into a corner with the intro of Riley. I know how to use her in the story but I just can't put it down into words. I'm just going to do a JTam and introduce her for a chapter and pretend she never existed. ****I kid, I kid.**

**No flashback this time. ****  
**

**Enjoy!**

The familial sounds of laughter and chatter filled the air along with aluminum forks clinking against dinnerware. Three fourths of the Rizzoli clan who hadn't a clue of what happened minutes ago in Maura's restroom were enjoying this particular Sunday night dinner except for a certain dark haired detective.

Jane was currently sat down in her chair silently stewing in her seat, throwing menacing glares every once in a while at the man currently with his arms around the back of the honey blondes chair.

After taking a few moments to gather herself in the restroom after Ian's confrontation she feels the anger boiling inside ready to pounce if Ian even looked at her. Though currently Ian was avoiding glancing in Jane's direction instead focusing on his conversation with Angela about event spaces or event steaks, who hell knew, as she could care less. She wanted to speak with Ian and Maura about what the hell Ian knew and why the hell he knew what he knew. She waited anxiously for her family to leave so they could speak about this without raising any suspicions as Jane's first gut reaction was to kick Ian right in the balls in middle of the dining room floor, but that would have certainly raise some eyebrows. So for now she sits and waits.

After what seemed like hours to Jane but in actuality was only 30 minutes later, the Rizzoli family was on their way out minus the detective. As Angela slips out the backdoor with promises to show Maura her wedding dress, Jane quickly calls out for Maura to join her in the living room as Ian was currently nowhere to be found.

Not wasting any time, Jane starts voice low and gruff "Maura. I need you to tell me the truth. What does Ian know about us?" she gestures between the two of them.

Maura opens her mouth just to shut it quickly, shock registering on her face at how Jane came about this piece of information, but she didn't question it. She takes a moment to formulate her words. She wrings her hands in front of her, biting down on her bottom lip. "Ian knows we were together" she hesitantly answers. "Romantically" she adds just in case Jane didn't understand.

At Maura's confirmation Jane clenches her jaw, she can feel her anger rising. She wants to punch something. Or someone. Preferably someone with a stupid accent who was ruining her life. Instead she settles for screaming at the only person in her line of sight.

"God Dammit Maura. I can't believe you would tell him. _Him_" she angrily grounds out voice getting louder.

"Jane, all he knows is that we dated for a while and we broke up, nothing else." Maura tries to placate the detective, worried that Jane thinks she betrayed her trust.

Jane heatedly paces back and forth dismissing Maura's pleadings. "But that is enough." She shouts "There was a reason why we kept our relationship a secret. And now your fiancé knows. I mean, who knows who he told. The whole precinct probably knows and is just fucking waiting to-" Maura abruptly stands up straighter cutting Jane off mid-sentence, anger building within the ME at Jane's words. "We didn't keep out relationship a secret Jane. That was entirely you." she yells jabbing a finger at the detective. "I didn't break up with you and run off to tell Ian just to-to… spite you or whatever it is you're thinking. I'm hurt that you would think that low of me. I didn't tell him anything. He discovered it himself." Maura was turning red, chest heaving rapidly, she stared down at Jane feeling anger building from Jane's hurtful words ready to lash out at the stubborn detective again.

"What's going on here?"

They both turn at the sound of a deep voice coming from the hallway.

"You" she accuses shooting a finger at the confused man.

"Whatever you heard. Whatever you think you know. Pretend you don't because if I swear to God if I hear anything regarding my sexu-my past with Maura, I know exactly whose balls to shoot off. Got it?" she threateningly shouts feeling herself getting heated by the second.

Ian looks at Maura and then to Jane, back to Maura again "Are you okay?" he asks. At Maura's nod he turns his focus back onto the detective. "I think you should leave now Jane, You have upset my fiancé for the last time tonight." Ian calmly says not at all intimidated by Jane's angry outburst.

Jane furrows her brow surprised at Ian's calm demeanor and dismissal of her threats.

"Did you fucking hear what I said? Not a word." she barks out impatiently.

"I heard you. I would never break my promise" he says evenly, a clear dig at Jane who clenches her jaw in return."If you obey my request from earlier, your secret is safe with me" he continues staring her down.

Jane scrunches her face in confusion. _What the hell is he talking about? What request?_

Maura stares at the two dumfounded and confused at the looks her ex and fiancé were currently having.

_I need you to stay away from Maura. She doesn't want you anymore.  
_

Realization hits her, hard and fast. The detective stands tall, jaws clenched, eyes blazing with fury, her fingers curling and uncurling by her side, all the anger raging from within ready to let loose at the man who has taken the one person she ever loved and who now had knowledge to effectively humiliate her. She wasn't about to let that happen.

She turns and takes quick livid strides towards Ian roughly grabbing him and shoving against the wall. Gripping onto his shirt, she pulls him forward only to shove him back into the wall with greater force. Either Ian was not putting up a fight or she was too far gone fueled by rage that she could shove a fairly built grown man like a ragdoll again and again. It was probably a little bit of both She can faintly hear Maura gasping no doubt scared of the turn of events but she was too blinded by anger and fury to stop and check on the honey blonde.

Only when she feels a small hand grip her shoulder and a diminutive voice calling her name does she stop. She tears her eyes away from the man in question and glances down at the hand clutching her shoulder. Eyes traveling upward she makes out the concerned face of the honey blonde.

Releasing her grip, she steps back to steady her breathing, trying to calm her self down before fully committing to Maura. She hears Maura telling Ian to leave them alone. She doesn't know when and if he did leave as her eyes never leave warm sympathetic hazel ones.

They stare at each other, neither one have yet to blink. The only sound was Jane's labored breathing slicing through the silent air.

Jane wants to turn away, but she is hypnotized by Maura's intense gaze bearing down into her as if Maura was trying get inside her soul, searching for something.

Maura for her part was looking for something and she was not going to turn away until she found it

Seconds tick by.

There it was.

She sees the twitch in Jane's face. It was very slight and if Maura didn't know Jane as well as she did then she would clearly have missed it. As soon as she catches sight of it, Maura jumps forward, grabbing onto the back of Jane's neck pulling her in for a tight hug.

Surprise at Maura's action, Jane tries to resist pulling back but Maura anticipating Jane's resistance holds on tight not letting the stubborn detective move out of her grasp.

Jane finally gives up wrapping her arm around the ME. When Maura whispers into her ear "I got you. I got you" Jane finally breaks down. All the rage and anger she felt moments ago falters immediately as she now only feels exhausted and worn down. Tears pouring out of her eyes, she grips onto Maura's back relishing in the moment of not having to be strong and finally letting it all out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." she repeatedly cries out. She didn't have the strength anymore to say or do anything else. She lets her tears fall without restraint not for herself, but for Maura.

For giving up on the honey blonde.

For all the heartbreak.

For all the lies and broken promises.

For losing her.

Maura shuts her eyes trying to blink back tears threatening to fall trying to be the strong for once, but she finally gives in as she allow her tears to fall not for herself, but for Jane.

For her protectiveness.

For all the heartache.

For the break up.

For blaming herself for everything that occurred between the two and despite Jane's tough and badass attitude she likes to exert, Maura knows that deep down, a large part of Jane's actions were fueled by fear.

There were no words needed as the two former lovers cradled each other. Both receiving the closure that they ignored and avoided for so long, but has now finally found them.

* * *

The sunlight filters through the blinds causing Jane to quickly shut her eyes as she arouses from her sleep. She moves her head to the right trying to avoid the bright glare when her head connects with something. She turns her head to find out what object she hit when she is literally nose to nose with a sleeping ME.

She takes a long inhale and holds it in before finally releasing it. Her heart is thumping wildly in her chest amazed that Maura didn't get awaken by it's loud pounding as it was all she could hear at the moment. She hadn't been this close to the honey blonde nevertheless slept in the same bed with her for more than a year.

She takes a painful swallow, wincing at her dry throat no doubt from all the crying she did last night. How she ended up in the guestroom with Maura she didn't have a clue.

She needed some water to clear her dry throat but she didn't want to leave the comfort of the bed just yet. So she lies there watching Maura sleep for the second time in less than a month where she hadn't done this in a year.

Maura finally stirs and when she opens her eyes she sees Jane watching her. She makes no move to get up as she lets out a yawn.

"Mornin" Jane says voice raspy and hoarse.

"Good Morning Jane"

Maura can practically hear the wheels in Jane's head spinning as they both fall silent.

"What are you thinking?" she asks.

Jane is jarred out of her thoughts at Maura's soft voice.

"I was just thinking of how much I didn't deserve you as a girlfriend. I took you for granted. And yet here you still are, still comforting me. I really fucked things up, didn't I?" she asks voice going soft towards the end.

Maura bites her lip touched by Jane's honesty but says silent sensing that Jane wasn't finished.

Jane takes a deep breath and gazes into deep warm hazel eyes misting with light tears.

"I have never once not mean it when I said that I loved you. I just-I just want you to always remember that. I know you love me too…" she pauses swallowing painfully "or at least I think so"-she recalls the night before on how Maura deflected her question "but I couldn't give you what you wanted and it was selfish of me to ask you to wait for me while I got my shit together."

She reaches for Maura's hand, softly caressing it with her thumb. "I just want you to be happy and if Ian is the one that makes you happy, I promise I won't get in the way of that anymore, barring any drunken confessions" she lets out a grin at the memory of how this all started. Maura's lips turn upwards beginning of a small smile forming. Clearing her throat she continues. "If you need anything, anything at all I'm always here for you. Goodbye Maura." She gives Maura's hand one final squeeze, leaning over to place a lingering kiss on the ME's head before pulling away.

Maura watches Jane get up and put on her boots that Maura had extricated from the weary detective the night before. Jane gives her a closed smile and stands to leave. Her heart tightens as she watches Jane round the bed and disappear being the one to walk out on them this time.

She rolls over, pulling the thin blanket tighter around her as if forming a protective shield around her body. She shuts her eyes as tears she desperately tried to hold back streams down her face. She grabs her chest, her heart aching in agonizing pain as if Jane has walked out on her life forever; which was ridiculous as she would see Jane everyday at work but nonetheless she can't help but feel a piece of her heart, the piece that Jane held onto for years teetering on the edge finally break apart.

Jane steps out into the dining room scanning for her purse and jacket. She pauses mid step as she spots Ian at the table with a coffee cup in hand. Ian looks up and they keep their eyes trained on each other as if in a stand off neither backing down.

Jane finally beaks her gaze focusing on collecting her belongings. As she walks past him, she stops but doesn't turn around. From over her shoulder she speaks in a low defeated tone "Take care of her."

She continues walking, leaving behind two broken hearts for the final time.

**A/N 2: ********Please take note of the last sentence. **Things should be looking up. Can't get any worse, right?... ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Merry Christmas to you all and a Happy Rizzoli and Isles marathon/finale.**

**A little time jump here. I wanted to break this chapter in two but there would have been no Maura in the first chapter and we can't have no Maura chapters in any R&I fics-It should be illegal.**

**Pre-warning-lots of Riley- but maybe not what you think...**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

**Enjoy!**

It's been three months since she had her breakdown in the middle of Maura's hallway. Three months of keeping a small but subtle distance from the honey blonde. In keeping with her promise she limited herself to keeping it friendly with the ME. It was like after their break up but friendlier this time around.

As she and Maura were drifting further apart, Riley, who she only met three months ago, was becoming more of a friend than she thought possible. They were spending more time together at work and after.

When Cavanaugh introduced Riley as the new detective, to say Jane was shocked was an understatement. She stepped up to Riley immediately demanding to know what the hell was going on. Riley explained that she knew who Jane was prior to moving in and the reason she moved across the hall was because she felt safer living near another cop. That got a nod and a half smile from the detective.

Jane accepted Riley's explanation and took a liking to the new detective instantly. She found they had a lot of things in common both in and outside of work. Riley proved herself to be a good cop with great instincts and Jane had no doubts that Riley would have her back in the field. It didn't take long for Riley to prove that facet as Jane thinks back to the second week out in the field with the new detective.

_They were in the middle chasing down a suspect. Jane went towards the back alley while Riley drove the cruiser to block the exit. Jane knocked him down and was just about to cuff him when out of nowhere his friend that they didn't foresee whacked her from the side. She fell over immediately yelping in pain. She tried to get up as she saw the perp winding up to hit her again but was too woozy from the hit on the head to move. She closed her eyes in anticipation, but she never felt the pain as she heard a shot from afar and his weapon clinking to the ground immediately afterwards. She opened her eyes to see Riley offering her a hand up._

They were currently sitting on Jane's couch beer bottles in hand, half empty pizza boxes scattered on the coffee table and a Red Sox game blaring on the screen.

"Foul. Foul ball" Jane hollers at the TV. "Your team is cheating Cooper" she says jokingly, shaking her head.

Riley laughs. "No way. You can see the chalk practically spraying the fans white on the third base line. You need to get your eyes checked Rizzoli." She says just as her phone buzzes informing her of an incoming call.

Checking her phone she smiles at the name flashing across her screen "I have to take this, sorry." She says apologetically getting up to leave the room.

Jane waves her away too outraged by the bad call to care.

A few minutes pass as Jane hears the last end of Riley's phone conversation.

"Ok. Love you. Bye" Riley ends her call and returns to the couch.

"Sorry about that" she says.

Jane nods her head in understanding "Don't worry about it. Job makes it hard to have a personal life, huh?"

Riley agrees "Tell me about it. My girlfriend hates that I'm a cop and now that I'm a detective-"

Jane whips her head to face Riley stopping her mid-sentence. Riley surprised by Jane's sudden turn gives her a confused look.

"What? What happened" she asks worriedly.

Jane stares at Riley, unsure if she heard the new detective right.

"N-nothing" she stammers.

A few seconds pass before she speaks again.

"Just um...girlfriend?" she squeaks out.

Riley nods. "Yes. Is there a problem?"

Jane shakes her head wildly, eyes getting wide. "Noooo. No. Just no. No problem" she stammers.

Riley holds in a smile at the flustering detective giving her a chance to pull herself together thinking she understood Jane's dilemma.

Jane breaks the silence swallowing thickly. "How-how long have you two been…uh…you know…together…your girlfr" Jane stops talking at Riley's raised eyebrows. "I-I'm sorry. That's none of my business. Forget I said anything." She turns her head and stares straight ahead at the TV.

Riley smirks at the detective who was currently avoiding her gaze pretending to be enamored with the game. She may be new to homicide, but she certainly wasn't new to BPD which meant that she was not uninformed of the rumors and gossip the precinct tossed around regarding a certain female detective with the best closure rate in BPD and the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Boston, MA.

Rumors of a deeper relationship than just co-workers or even best friends begun to surface after Jane shot herself and Dr. Isles didn't leave her side for 3 days straight. The rumors were re-ignited with much more aggressiveness after the Hoyt incident where Jane stabbed and killed the man who threatened Dr. Isles, but not when that same killer kidnapped and threatened her prior to that. Jane was very protective of her medical examiner.

Though she has yet to witness any of the flirting, touching, and obvious affection that the rumors suggested, it may have had to do with the fact that Dr. Isles is engaged-to a man nonetheless-which was why she didn't put much trust in the rumors. But after watching Jane's curious reaction to her information of dating a woman and detecting a slight vulnerability to Jane's question, there might actually have been some truth to them after all.

She wasn't one to talk about her personal life especially to a senior detective but she considered them friends but more importantly she detects something in Jane's tone that made her inclined to answer.

"It's okay. I don't mind. We've been together for on and off for 4 years." She pauses trying to decipher Jane's expression. "You can ask me anything you want Jane." She says sincerely recognizing Jane's hesitancy to want to say more but was clearly holding back by the defensive vibe she was giving out.

Jane swallows thickly nodding her head in understanding. "Are you two…out?" she says cautiously as if Riley would be offended by the question.

Riley doesn't answer right away instead she takes a good look at the detective who was now avoiding her gaze again, eyes cast downward picking at the label of her beer bottle. She chews on her bottom lip thinking of how to respond.

"We weren't always." Riley finally answers. She sees Jane perk up at her answer but doesn't stop "I didn't want to be that dyke cop; you know especially as I was just starting out as a new detective, but I knew I couldn't lose her. I had to get over my insecurities and fear of what other people might think. I'd rather put a few bigoted assholes in their place every once in a while than to not be with her. It's my life. I choose whether or not I get to be happy. Not them." She finishes pointedly.

Silence fills the room as Jane takes in Riley's words.

Suddenly feeling uncomfortable as to where this conversation was going, Jane clears her throat rising to grab another beer. "Need another?" she asks from over her shoulder.

Riley chews on her bottom lip as she watches the detective walk away. "No thanks. I should actually get going. It's getting late." She gets up to pull on her jacket and collects her keys and phone wanting to leave the detective with something to think over.

Jane walks back stopping across from the new detective a cold beer in hand. "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow then."

Riley gives her a smile. "Losing team buys coffee" she says pointing to the screen as Jane's Red Sox were currently down 6-2 to Riley's Yankees.

Jane grins "It ain't over until the 27th out is recorded, detective."

Riley chuckles shaking her head turning to open the door. She steps out into the hall but doesn't leave just yet instead she slowly turns to face her friend, expression instantly turning serious "The hardest part was being honest with myself." she says gently before turning to leave, purposely leaving Jane to mull over her words

Jane stands still absorbing Riley's words. She was sure Riley was trying to tell her something and she was sure she knew what it was. She watches the door close fully before closing her own. She falls back against the door, shutting her eyes tightly as a tear erupts from her eyes. Riley's words resonating over and over in her head.

* * *

The week passes by all too quickly for Jane. She spent most of it thinking and over thinking about what Riley said. She shuts down Riley's offer to hang out instead opting to figure some things out on her own.

So here she was, sitting alone in her car staring at the bright neon lights working up the courage to get out and actually go inside. She glances at the dashboard. The red lights glaring back at her indication it was 11:14PM. Taking a deep breath, she opens the car door and steps out making her way to the entrance. She self-consciously tugs on the lapels of her jackets just to have something to do with her hands.

She could do this. She can. She has to. She needed to move on. This was the first step in coming to terms with herself. She had never paid much attention to other women before Maura. Of course she noticed them but she had the honey blonde. Maura was the perfect woman; she wasn't going to ruin that by doing something stupid. She rolls her eyes at her accomplishment of that feat anyhow. Being that Maura was the only woman she had ever kissed let alone have a relationship with, she was going to experiment, so to speak.

She hears the bouncer calling for her to step up and roll her sleeve back. She does as told without a word. She feels the cold rubber gently lift from her wrist, glancing down she eyes the black ink ingrained into her skin. She can feel her wrist throbbing as if in pain as the black letters jump out at her: **MERCH.**

* * *

Meanwhile at the Isles residence…

"Ian?" Maura calls out stripping off her jacket and purse while keeping an ear out for her fiancé to respond. She looks at her watch, it was well past midnight. She grimaces promising to be home early but got caught up finishing up an autopsy. When she is met with silence she darts her eye around the room before checking the kitchen. She spots him at the kitchen counter staring at a piece of paper. "Ian?" she calls out again.

He finally turns around and she sees what held his attention. She recognizes it as the wedding invitations she picked out with Jamie, their wedding planner.

"Oh, the invitations are here" she says enthusiastically.

Ian nods "Yes. Jamie dropped them off earlier."

Maura grabs one out of the box turning it around in her hand before flipping it open. "It turned out well, didn't it?" she says.

Ian keeps quiet his eyes focused on Maura as if studying her.

Maura noticing Ian's stare frowns at him. "What's wrong?" she says concern filling her voice.

Ian hands her the invitation. She furrows her eyebrows but takes the envelope anyway.

She reads the name on the front of the envelope in elegant script: **Jane Rizzoli**

"It's Jane's invitation." She states softly.

Ian crosses his arms in defense. "So you are inviting her? Even after we discussed it and I told you I didn't want her there. I mean why bother asking my opinion when you were going to do whatever the hell you wanted anyway" he responds indignantly.

Maura instantly looks up at him confused at the anger lacing his tone. "Yes. We did discuss it but she is my friend. I work with her and see her nearly every day. Besides, her whole family is invited. It would be rude to invite everyone and exclude only her" she says calmly.

"Are you sure that's the reason?" he challenges.

"Ian." Maura sighs in frustration. "We are not having this conversation again."

"Maybe we should Maura. You can't tell me she still doesn't have any feelings for you. You two are best friends, then lovers, then you hate each other and then you become friends again now you two hardly talk to each other" he shouts.

Maura opens her mouth to refute but Ian continues before she gets anything out.

"Yea, I noticed. You hardly ever mention her name anymore since that night she went off the rails like it hurts you too much to even say anything. Whatever happened between you two it is obvious that it is affecting you more than you let on. You're always working, coming home later than you should be. What the hell is going on with you?" He continues on not waiting for an answer "Tell me one thing. I think I deserve to know. Do you still love her?" he says with an hint of malice surprising the ME.

Maura stares at Ian but says nothing. She opens her mouth to respond but nothing comes out. She shuts her eyes trying to reel in her emotions as Ian blindsided her with this information.

At Maura's silence, Ian slams his hand against the counter startling the honey blonde out of her thoughts.

"I'm marrying you..." she starts but not knowing what to say, she moves closer to him touching his arm trying to calm him down.

"Don't" he puts up a finger. "Don't deflect. Answer the God-damn question" he shouts.

Maura feels tears rolling down her cheeks as she shakes her head not willing to lie but couldn't answer either.

She feels a gust of wind as Ian blazes past her heading towards the door feeling the vibration of the door slamming in his wake.

She wipes away her tears, taking a deep breath glancing at the door that Ian stormed out of. She picks up the invitation that is now lying on the ground, Jane's name staring up at her. She didn't want to be alone right now. She needed Jane. She needed her best friend.

Picking up her keys and jacket along with the invitation she heads out. She starts her car, the lights come on instantly, the clock catches her attention; 1:14AM, she just hoped Jane wouldn't be too angry at her for coming so late.

**A/N 2: Riley and Jane's relationship seems rushed and a little forced here but it has been three months, let's all just pretend they are good friends by now.**

**Sorry for no Jane/Maura interaction this chapter, but they are coming….**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait in updating. The holidays got to me. I didn't realize I left you with a cliffhanger (maybe b/c I know what is going to happen). Haha.. I'm an ass. Sorry. **

**Anyhow, it's a short one. Sorry again. I will try to update the next sooner rather than later. **

**Usual disclaimers apply. All mistake are mine. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"Maura?" Jane calls out, quickly unlocking the door she is face to face with a puffy and red eyed ME. She frantically grabs Maura by the shoulders, "What happened? What's wrong? Are you ok?" she fires out rapidly.

Maura overwhelmed by Jane's concern and still reeling from Ian's confrontation lunges at the detective wrapping her arms around Jane's neck and buries her head into strong broad shoulders. Months of missing the physical contact with her best friend she can feel the tension and stress melting off her immediately as she is wrapped up in a familiar protective warm hold.

She sniffles into Jane's chest unable, but really unwilling to answer just yet. Jane's look of concern quickly melts to one of content at the honey blonde's resistance to let go. Maura finally nods and mumbles a yes into Jane's shoulders. "Ian-" Her voice is muffled against Jane's shoulders but the detective tenses immediately understanding the situation more clearly. "What did he do? Did he hurt you?" She takes Maura's silence as confirmation and abruptly pulls out of Maura's grasp. "Sonofabitch. I'm going to kill him" she clenches her jaw in anger turning around to locate her keys. Maura quickly grabs a hold of the detective's arm spinning her back around. "Jane. No. No, he didn't. We just had an argument. I wanted…I needed to see you..." She trails off biting her lip now feeling a little embarrassed for actions.

"Oh" Jane smiles warmly at the woman in front of her, but it is short lived as she hears footsteps behind her.

"Jane?" she freezes. _Oh shit_. In the midst of her concern over Maura's wellbeing, she forgot about Jessica.

Maura gives Jane a confused look at Jane's wide eyed expression. Seconds later she sees a tall slender blonde woman approach in what she recognizes as Jane's robe. The blonde lays a beautifully manicured hand on the detective's shoulder smiling her greeting. Maura darts her eyes from the strange woman's to Jane's bewildered ones back to the woman again. She feels a pang of jealousy course through her and falters lightly at the realization that she has interrupted something.

Something...

_Intimate. _

Eyes wide as saucers, she lets out a strangled gasp. The invitation falling on the floor, but neither one noticing as their eyes never leave each other. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't know…I didn't mean to interrupt." She stammers, cursing herself for not being able to withhold her emotions more strongly. She could feel her eyes burning with unshed tears preparing itself for the dam to burst if she stayed a second longer. She feels her heartbeat begin to pound loudly against her chest increasing at a rapid rate. Why this was affecting her so much she couldn't grasp. She didn't want to. She just wanted to leave.

Without another word she spins on her heels and swiftly walks towards the stairs clenching her jaw to desperately keep her tears and sobbing at bay- not wanting Jane to witness her falling apart.

She can hear Jane calling for her but she doesn't stop as she rounds the stairs.

_Fuck._ Jane watches Maura sprint out of there before she could get a word in. "Maura. Maura" she desperately calls out running after the honey blonde.

"Maura. Please stop." Using her long legs, she takes the stairs three at a time playing catch up. She jumps in front Maura effectively blocking the next level of stairs leading to the exit.

Her heart breaks at the sight before her. Tears are streaking rapidly down the ME's face, her chin is quivering slightly as her hands are covering her mouth holding back sobs. She now wished she hadn't chased after the honey blonde. How many times was she going to have to see Maura cry? Be the one to cause her so much pain?

"Maura" she says gently. "It…I…" she sighs frustratingly, raking a hand through her hair unsure of why she felt the need to explain nor why Maura ran away crying. "It isn't what it looks like."

Maura shakes her head. "You don't owe me an explanation. I don't know why I'm crying. I'm just highly emotional tonight." She swats at her tears futilely letting out a light scoff. "I'm so stupid. I came here because I needed to see you and you're…you..." she trails off not being able to finish as the image burns back into her mind. She had no right to be jealous or angry. They weren't together. Jane could do whatever she pleases with whoever she pleases. But she was. She couldn't help the feeling of betrayal gnawing at her chest.

She finally manages to finish. "I didn't realize you were…with someone…" She trails off unable to meet the detective's gaze.

"I'm not." Jane blurts out automatically.

Maura snaps her eyes to the detective's dark brown ones, immediately confused by her answer. Surely she didn't misunderstand the connotation of what she just witnessed moments ago.

"I'm not with her." Jane states again, softly this time rubbing a hand over face giving the honey blonde an unobtrusive view of the stamp inked on her wrist. Squinting her eyes slightly Maura is able to read the dark text plain as day.

"You just picked her up at Merch." Maura states evenly realization now dawning on her.

Jane stills her movements squeezing her eyes shut picking up on Maura's tone, disappointment evident.

She couldn't take it. Anger she could handle, but disappointment from Maura was something that she was too used to when they were together. She hated it then. She hates it now.

She blatantly ignores Maura's words, instead opting to find some answers of her own. "Why did you really come here tonight?" she breathes out stepping closer to the fragile ME.

Maura swallows thickly at Jane's question. "I miss you." she answers truthfully. "I hope you find what you are looking for Jane" she says softly backing away from the detective.

"I have." Jane whispers into the now quiet and lonesome stairway.

* * *

Jane takes her time walking back to her apartment hoping the slow walk will give Jessica enough time and a clue to get dress and leave. She couldn't bear look at the woman let alone do anything. She didn't want to either. Maura's heartbreaking face is what she would be seeing every time she closes her eyes as her words have already invaded her thoughts replaying itself in her head without her permission.

She spots Riley leaning against her doorway speaking with Jessica. They both turn to face the solemn looking detective. Jessica is the first to speak. "Let me guess…Ex-girlfriend?" she says raising her eyebrows knowingly.

Jane shifts her eyes quickly to Riley before darting back to Jessica's. "Something like that" she mumbles.

"Hmm. She's pretty." Jessica shrugs indifferently. "I'm going to go get dressed." She turns and heads inside the apartment leaving the two detectives in silence.

Riley clears her throat and offers up a sympathetic smile to the detective. "That technically wasn't what I meant." She says gesturing towards where Jessica disappeared to.

"Believe me, it didn't help much." Jane glumly agrees, mirroring Riley's stance.

Riley walks closer to the detective handing her the envelope. "This looks like it's for you. Maura must have dropped it."

Jane accepts the envelope. Furrowing her brow, she opens it and recognizes it as a invitation. She didn't have to open it to know what it said inside. She didn't want to. Staring at the invitation, she bites her lips wondering as to why Maura really stopped by. It surely wasn't to just drop this off in the middle of the night.

Riley looks past Jane's shoulders into her apartment as a now fully dressed Jessica gathers her belongings. Raising her eyebrows she nods approvingly at Jane. "She's hot, Rizzoli. I'll give you that, although she looks similar to another blonde we know" she casually slips in disrupting Jane of her thoughts.

Before Jane can retort, she feels someone brush pass her. Jessica steps out into the hallway grabbing the detective in for a peck on the lips purring seductively. "Call me detective."

Jane keeps her mouth shut as she watches the blonde disappear down the stairs.

"Let's chat" Riley states leaving no room for argument as she closes her door nodding her head towards the detective's apartment as to lead the way.

Jane sighs and walks into her apartment gesturing for Riley to follow. "I went about this totally wrong." She plops herself down onto the couch cradling her head in her hands feeling the need to explain her reasoning. "I just figured that if I go out there and meet some other woman that isn't Maura…that maybe it would help me get over my fear because I thought that was what I needed. It didn't work. It's not going to work. There wasn't any great epiphany when I slept with her that made me realize that I actually do like girls. On some level, I always knew that I just never wanted to admit it, you know?"

Riley stays quiet letting Jane continue.

"It hit me tonight" she pauses briefly to rest her head back against the top of the couch, sighing deeply. "It's always been about Maura. She is the only one that I would want to come out for. She is above the rest." She says softly as the face of the beautiful ME flashes before her causing a tear to roll down her cheek.

Riley finally lets out a full grown smile, happy that the dark haired brunette ultimately figured it out.

Jane wipes away her tears and looks towards her friend. "I'm going to start by telling my Ma…" she pauses, "after I tell you. Riley…Maura and I were a couple. We dated for eight months and it was the best eight months of my life. I love her" She takes a deep breath waiting for something to happen but all is quiet. Riley sits still next to her listening intently. She throws the invitation on the coffee table. "And I don't care about anyone or any stupid wedding. I want her back" she finishes strongly, voice rising in confidence.

"Well then Rizzoli, let's get her back." Riley says throwing her friend a smile.

* * *

**A/N: I had another version much more angsty and would take them a step back so I deleted it. Let's have them move forward to reconciliation, right? Or not right?**

**Lemme know…**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Seems like I like to update every other Sunday. Not being able to write Fanfiction at work anymore sucks.**

**A little longer chapter than most. No angst this chapter, but we'll get there again ladies and gents. It's late. Sorry for any and all mistakes.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one in this story, unfortunately.**

**Enjoy!**

"Alright, let me get this straight." Riley lets out a light chuckle. "_Straight_."

Jane rolls her eyes, crossing her arms at the young detective's sense of humor. "Really. What are you twelve, Cooper?"

Riley only smirks at the scowling detective.

"So you were best friends, dated, broke up. She got engaged. You got drunk and confessed your love. You think she probably, maybe still loves you also. You then basically ignored her for three months-"

"Kept a distance" Jane interjected, but is ignored anyhow as Riley continues on "-Maura then comes running to you in the middle of the night after a fight with her fiancé but catches you with a strange woman and she leaves disappointed and now you are trying to win her back. Did I get that all right?" Riley asks furrowing her brows in ignorance.

Jane clenches her jaw in annoyance. "Yes. For the third time just today. Yes"

Riley lets out a cheeky grin. "Hey. I'm your only help to win back the love of your life. So you better be nice to me."

Jane scoffs uncrossing her arms. "Anyway. Let's get back to business. What is my best plan of attack? Should I-"

"Wait." Riley holds up a palm. "I'm going to stop you right there. Don't go attacking anything." She sits up straight focusing her eyes on the dark haired brunette. "What you need to do is show her that you have changed. Show her that you are not afraid of being the true Jane Rizzoli. Like you said the other night, start by telling your mother and those closest to you. But don't mention her name and your relationship that you kept a secret." Riley pauses to make sure Jane is listening. Her eyes softened to match her tone. "The most important thing to keep in mind is that you do this for yourself. Not for Maura because you want her back and you think coming out is what she wants so then you two can be finally be together again. I'm sure that's not what she wants. Do this for you and you only. Or else none of this is going to mean anything. To you or to her."

Jane nods her understanding swallowing thickly. "I can do that."

* * *

"Maura, honey. Good morning." Angela beams at the doctor stepping inside the café.

Maura greets her in return settling into a stool near the counter. "Good morning Angela."

"Would you like something to eat, dear? You are getting awfully thin lately. Are you doing well?"

Maura smiles weakly. "Yes. I'm doing fine. I would like some tea, if you don't mind."

"Nonsense, I don't mind at all. One tea to start your Monday morning off right, coming up."

"Thank you Angela."

A commotion near the entrance grabs her attention as Angela places her order down before heading off to another customers request.

She turns and sees Jane and Riley shoving each other playfully as they enter the café. She finds herself frowning at the scene before her. It was not so long ago that she was the one that Jane would playful shove and laugh with. She turns back quickly not wanting to be caught staring.

Riley is the first to notice the doctor at the counter. She gestures for Jane to approach the doctor. Jane sees where Riley is pointing at and slowly approaches the honey blonde with Riley tagging right behind.

"Hey Maur."

Maura tenses at the familiar raspy voice behind her. She turns around smiling her greeting. "Good morning Jane. Hello Detective Cooper." The last bit said a little more curtly although she didn't mean for it to be as her emotions got the better of her. She never got around to getting to know the younger detective with so much on her plate lately.

Riley nods her greeting. "Doctor Isles."

Silence befalls amongst the three of them.

Maura goes to sip her tea while Riley is gesturing wildly with her eyebrows and head tilt silently encouraging Jane to talk with the ME.

"So…how are things?" Jane asks. She felt a little uneasy around the honey blonde after the other night. She wanted to outright declare her love for her immediately after her self-realization, but she knew that Riley was right. It would just push Maura further away.

Riley discreetly slaps a palm to her forehead shaking her head.

Maura sets her cup down and turns towards the detective eyeing her carefully. "Things are fine Jane. Excuse me but I need to get down to the morgue. Have a good day detectives." She smiles politely at the two women before exiting.

Jane watches as Maura's form disappears before thumping her head on the counter. "Not. A. Word." She grinds out as Riley was set to open her mouth to retort at Jane's obvious failure.

"Jane, get your head off my clean counter." She hears her mother holler from the end of the counter as Riley snickers behind her.

She groans in defeat, but determined to get through to the honey blonde.

* * *

"That was the doc." Korsak says hanging up. "The results are in for our John Doe."

"I'll get it." Jane rushes out, standing abruptly startling the group who looks up at her curiously.

She flushes under their stare. "I mean. I need to see Maura anyway for something else…I'll just get going." She mumbles. She had been looking for a reason to go see the honey blonde the whole day. She rolls her eyes at her own thought. How had she let things get so strained between them that she couldn't even visit her friend without needing an excuse to go see her.

She pushes aside the swinging doors finding Maura hunched over the victim's body taking notes.

She clears her throat letting Maura know of her presence.

"Hello Jane." Maura stands up straight moving towards the detective to hand her the file. "The tox screen came back. Our victim tested negative for heroine but positive for very high levels of cocaine in his system. I will have his official cause of death within the hour."

Jane purses her lips in understanding. She opens the file reading over the lab report. She didn't have a clue what she was looking for. In all honesty, she just wanted to stay a little longer working up the courage to speak to the ME.

"Maur?" she finally speaks, voice timid.

"Yes Jane? Was there something I missed?" Maura tilts her head, brows furrowing in confusion.

Jane closes the file immediately. "It's not about the case. About the other night…"

"Jane, you don't-"

"I know. It's just…I miss you too, you know. I didn't get a chance to say it." Jane chews on her bottom lip and takes a deep breath. She wills her feet forward stopping when she is mere inches away from the ME, her gaze never wavering away from warm hazel orbs. "Don't give up on me Maura." she whispers out.

Maura stares at the dark haired brunette unsure of what she was asking, but the sincerity in her voice was not lost on the honey blonde. She shakes her head in confusion but before she can ask, Jane is already leaving.

* * *

"Hey Ma. Thanks for coming over." Jane moves sideways opening the door wider to let her mother in.

"Of course honey. You sounded so serious on the phone. Is everything alright?" Angela steps inside, concern evident.

"Yes. Everything is fine. Just…have a seat please. I need to tell you something." Jane leads her to the couch.

Angela pauses but gingerly sits down hands clasped in her lap.

Jane blows out a deep breath. She paces in front of her mother rubbing her hands nervously. She was going to do it. She was actually going to tell her mother that her only daughter is gay. Wow. Okay. She shuts her eyes as she tries to calm herself or she was going to have an anxiety attack right here and now.

"Jane?"

At her mother's worried tone, she quickly opens her eyes. Concerned brown eyes glowing back at her. She sits down next to her mother leaving a good amount of space between them and starts to recite her speech she has been saying in her head over and over.

"Ma…I don't know exactly how to say this…umm. I don't know how it happened…Actually I do. I-"

"Oh my God. You're pregnant." Angela opens her mouth in shock. "You're pregnant and you're not even married. Oh Jesus Mary-"

"What? No." Jane's screeches in horror. "Really Ma. Where did that even come from?"

Angela just shrugs her shoulders unapologetically. "I don't know Jane. You call me over sounding very serious and you start with that. What am I supposed to think? It wouldn't be the worst thing. Lord knows I have tried to-"

Jane rolls her eyes stopping her mother before she goes on one of her _Jane, when are you going to settle down?_ rants "Ma." She says loudly. "I'm not pregnant. It's nothing like that. Ok? But what I am going to tell you is important. Please just listen and don't interrupt." She says more softly now.

Angela nods her agreement, curiosity painting her face.

"Ma…I-I." she huffs in frustration or nervousness. She couldn't figure out which. Most likely a bit of both. She couldn't understand why this was so hard. It was so easy with Riley. I'm gay. Just say it. I'm gay. I'm gay.

"Jane?"

"I'm gay." _Fuck_. She bites her lips and squeezes her eyes shut cursing at herself for blurting out her inner monologue.

Silence surrounds the two Rizzoli women as Jane turns away from the matriarch not wanting to see her reaction. Angela opens and closes her mouth in shock. This, she was not expecting.

Minutes tick by as they both sit still. Jane has stopped breathing and Angela was still in shock. Angela finally manages a glance towards Jane through the corner of her eye. She can see the anguish displayed clearly; eyes shut, jaws clenched no doubt biting back tears.

Her heart breaks at seeing her daughter in such agony. How long has she been holding onto this? It definitely answered questions as to why her daughter has been withdrawn and seemingly depressed lately. She chalked it up to Jane losing Maura as her best friend when Maura started dating that Ian fellow.

She tentatively reaches for Jane's hand, cupping it with her own. When she feels Jane tense at the touch, her grip tightens. She reaches for Jane's chin with her other hand turning her face so that Jane had no choice but to look at her.

Jane slowly opens her eyes, tears glistening in the distance.

Angela is quiet for a moment gazing into her daughters wide brown eyes like a scared animal ready to take flight at any sudden movements rather than stay and fight. "You're gay?" she questions softly, tone neutral.

Jane blinks slowly nodding her head which allows her tears that were glistening moments before to leisurely drop down her cheeks.

"Yes." She could barely choke out. "I'm sorry Ma. I know you had this dream of me walking down the aisle, marrying a wonderful man that would take care of me and start a family with." She says shakily. "I can still do that, but it just won't be with a man. I'm sorry to disappoint you. I-"

Angela cuts her off leaning over abruptly to envelope the shaking detective in a firm hug. "You can never disappoint me Janie. Don't ever think like that again. You are my daughter and I love you no matter what. This might not be what I envisioned for you, but don't ever think that I would love you any less for it."

She can hear the muffled sobs of Jane crying into her shoulder. "Oh Janie." She rubs her daughters back slowly, her own heart breaking at how much reassurance her baby needed. Her flesh and blood. Her first born. Her only daughter. How long had Jane been holding onto this? Afraid that her own mother would disown her or something because she couldn't help who she loves. Angela was a devout catholic, but she was also a mother. And all mother wants is to see their children happy and healthy. She is so proud of this independent, protective, at times stubborn, beautiful, smart and loving woman that Jane grew up to become. There was no way she couldn't be anything but proud of her.

Jane finally manages simmer down and tear away from her mother. "You're not mad?" she asks voice hoarse from crying.

Angela shakes her head. "I think I always knew." At Jane's raised eyebrows, she continues. "You were never one to keep a man for long. No matter how handsome or charming he was. I guess we now understand why." She smiles at Jane's patented eye roll before getting serious again. "How long have you known?"

"A while now. I was actually involved with someone over a year ago but I messed that up because I was too much of a coward to come out and in turn ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Angela nods her understanding. "I'm sure you can find a way to back to her heart whoever she was. I wouldn't know because you kept her from meeting me."

Jane lets out a huge breath of relief. Her Ma was back to her old self. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you too, Jane. So much." She envelops Jane in another hug. She never thought it would come this easy for her. Not that she ever thought about this, but she was pleased that between choosing her beliefs or her child it was a no-brainer to her. Unlike some other parents out there. She would always choose her children. There is no other choice.

**A/N: I wish all parents would think more like Angela in regards to their own children, but alas...not so much.  
**

**Til' next time...  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sounding like a broken record, but I am so sorry for the lag in updating. Ya'll don't need my spiel and excuses so here's maybe a longer chapter to make up for it, I think. **

**In this one: we got some laughs. Some tears. Some…that's basically it.**

**I wanna thank you all for your lovely reviews, favs, follows, PMs, etc. They do keep me going and updating. Knowing you all are as invested as I am makes me want to bring our two fav ladies together faster...almost ;)  
**

**Haven't had a flashback in a while so here's one after they broke up.**

**Don't own anyone in this story. They belong to the appropriate people that created them. **

**Enjoy!**

Two weeks later and Jane was still getting nowhere with the honey blonde. She had come out to her mother, Frankie, Tommy, Frost and Korsak together, in that order. It all went better than she expected. Though she shouldn't have been surprised, these people were her family and closest friends. What she was surprised at however, was their astute observation between Maura and herself. Apparently everyone already had an assumption that she and Maura were a lot closer than just friends. Especially Frankie...

"_16-8, Jane. That's the 3__rd__ basket in a row I scored on you. Getting tired in your old age there." Frankie gloats shoveling the ball to his older sister. _

_Jane offers him a weak smile. "Nah, I just got something on my mind." _

_Frankie's grin drops quickly as his concern for his older sister surfaces. "Everything okay, Janie?" _

_Jane bites the inside of bottom lip. "There's something I need to tell you. I-I just don't know how to start…" _

"_Start however you want. You can tell me anything, you know that, Janie." Frankie says genuinely. _

"_I know, Frankie. I...dated a woman." She lets out slowly, glancing at her little brother._

"_Oh." He mouthed._

_Jane glances at him feeling her heart race quicker. Next to her mother, Frankie's approval was the most important to her. This was her little brother, someone that she knew he looked up to, as a detective, as a parental figure, as a person. She would do anything for him. _

_After a few moments of silence Frankie speaks again. "So…you dated a woman?" Jane only nods her answer, staying silent to let Frankie process his thoughts. "So you only like women now?" he asks curiously, no hint of malice or disgust in his tone. Something Jane was grateful for. _

"_Only one woman." She blurts out._

_Frankie affixes his gaze on her, his eyes squinting ever so slightly. She feels her face getting hot at his unwavering stare, shrinking under his scrutiny. _

_Just as she opens her mouth to scold him for staring at her, he surprises her. "Well then, why isn't Maura engaged to you instead of that doucheball?"_

_She opens and closes her mouth in shock. "What? Maura…How? What?"_

_Frankie holds in a grin at his older sibling's flustered response. "Jane, come on. You two were practically married. The things Maura got you to do with just a pout or a look, jeez Janie…talk about being whipped," he says shaking his head in amusement. _

_She calms down enough to lightly punch him in the shoulder, chuckling at his words "I wasn't that bad."_

_Frankie sobers up quickly. "I had a feeling that something was going on between you and Maura. For like a year you were the happiest I had ever seen you and then all of a sudden you were so sad and depressed and then when Ian came into the picture, you started to withdraw from her."_

_Jane shakes her head at Frankie's perceptiveness. "Yea Frankie. We dated. I was a coward and then she broke up with me, but I plan on getting her back."_

"_Good. I might not be a detective, but I can see that she still loves you and you are miserable without her. You two belong together." he says with so much infinity that even she had to take pause to look at him, pride swelling within her. Her little brother was going to be a great detective someday. _

"_You've done so much for me Janie, I don't care who you love. You're my sister and I will always have your back." They both let out a smile as she pulls him into a tight hug. "Thanks brother."_

Coming out was not as horrifying as she thought it to be, granted it was only to six of her closest family and friends so she knew there was a long road ahead because not everyone would be as loving and supportive as her family, but even that wouldn't phase her. She could take anything coming her way if it meant getting to be with the only one that matters most.

Now that she accomplished what she set out to do, it was time she turned her attention to Maura. As it was, she didn't have much time left. Maura was getting married in less than four months. Whatever she was intending to do, she needed to do it quick as she was running out of time.

"Jane. Yo, Jane…"

She feels something hit against her face. She snaps her eyes up to find Riley smirking at her.

Brushing the crumbs off her shirt, she throws Riley a mock glare.

"Still getting nowhere with our hot ME, huh?" Riley prods.

Jane gives her a look but sighs deeply. "Yea, I don't know what happened. We were doing so well-"

Riley raises an eyebrow at her. "Not really."

Rolling her eyes at the younger detective, she continues "all of a sudden, I get the silent treatment. I haven't spoken to her since I visited her in the morgue. And that was four days ago." she exclaims.

Riley shrugs her shoulders also bewildered at what transpired then and now between the two women.

"Janie, what's wrong? You hardly touched your breakfast. You love my bunny pancakes." Angela says stopping at their table.

"Not at work I don't Ma." She huffs out.

"Ignore her Angela. She's just being pissy because Maura is mad at her." Riley chimes in.

"Ohhh." Angela voices as if it all made sense to her now. "What did you do now?"

Jane opens up her hands in frustration. "Me. I didn't do anything."

"Well you are lucky that you have any type of pancakes from me this morning after what I found out from your brother. Do you know what I found out?" Angela scolds at her eldest child.

"No, but I'm sure to hear about it in 3...2…"

"About you and a certain medical examiner." Angela cuts in ignoring her daughter's sarcasm. "I mean, I always had a feeling with all the sleepovers you two had and the way you two were always touching each other, the lingering gazes-"

Jane feels her face flush, surely a dark crimson red now. "Please stop."

"How dare you leave that information out Jane Clementine Rizzoli? You dated Maura and never thought to tell me and now she is engaged to another man-"

"Just man, Ma. Not another. The word another implies that I too, am a man." Jane huffs in annoyance then rolling her eyes at herself on how that was such a Maura thing to say.

Riley chuckles at the exchange "It would also imply that you two were engaged at one point, which clearly never happened."

"Really? It didn't. Thanks for clearing that up." Jane scowls at the younger detective.

"Anyway, Frankie also told me you intend to win her back. So, what can I do to speed this along?"

Jane opens her mouth in shock. "Did you just volunteer to break up Maura's engagement?"

Angela slaps Jane on the shoulder. "I did no such thing. I love Maura and I just want what is best for her and for you. I know that Ian is a very nice man-" Jane lets out a snort. "-but Maura is perfect for you and you know I've always wanted a doctor in the family. Now what are you two planning?"

Jane covers her face in embarrassment. This was getting out of hand. "No, ma. We aren't planning anything and you are not going to be doing or saying anything to Maura. Keep out of this, ma."

"But Jane-"

"No." she emphasizes by shaking her head repeatedly. "I didn't tell you about Maura and me for exactly this reason. I need to figure this out on my own. Keep away from Maura, Ma she isn't your daughter-"

She hears a gasp behind making her stop immediately. "That's the second time you've pointed out that I wasn't family."

_Oh shit. No, no, no. _Her eyes wide as saucers mirroring that of both her mother and Riley as she doesn't even have to ask who just walked in-no doubt only hearing the tail end of their conversation. Before she can turn around and give an explanation, the familiar sounds of heels clacking against the floor is moving further away.

She is too stunned to move.

"Go after her." Both her mother and Riley yell at her, shaking her out of her stupor.

She rolls her eyes at them, but does as told swiftly turning and following the path the ME took off to.

She finds herself in the morgue following the beacon of light glowing from under Maura's closed office door within the dark morgue. She takes a deep breath and rapts lightly. No answer. She knocks again, louder this time. "Maur, I'm coming in." Not waiting for an answer, she turns the knob and finds the ME at her desk, futilely wiping at her tears. "Maur?" She says softly.

She gets a sniffle, but nothing else. "Maur, I didn't mean what I said up there. You didn't hear the whole conversation; it isn't what you think at all."

She doesn't get a vocal answer just a nod of the head and a sniffle included. Silence engulfs the small office as Jane is at a lost to what to say to make things better, but Maura beats her to it when she finally breaks the silence. "I'm losing you, aren't I?" Jane feels her heart clench tightly in her chest at the insecurity in Maura's voice. She doesn't get to answer as Maura continues. "I remember the first time I lost you…it was when O'Malley took me."

Jane's eyes spread wide open. "Maura-"

Maura holds up a hand to stop her, "please, just listen. I've never told you this, but I need to now." She brings her hand down when Jane only nods. "The whole time I was captured, I didn't feel any fear. Do you know why, Jane?" Jane shakes her head. She didn't like where this was going but remains silent so Maura could finish. "Because I knew you were going to find me. That you would save me. I sat in the back of that ambulance refusing to leave just yet until I got to see you, to make sure you were okay. Barry finally came by to reassure me that you were unharmed. But I needed to see for myself that you were okay.…and…" her voice cracks slightly causing her to pause momentarily, "for you to make sure that I was fine because it's what we do for each other. We are always there for each other no matter what. But you never came, Jane. Why didn't you come?" her voice now barely audible.

Jane feels tears prickling at her eyes, she turns her head unable to watch Maura recall painful memories, but she couldn't stop the flashback already forming in her head…

* * *

_Jane walks past a group of officers as they proceed to enter the exact house that she barged into not 10 minutes ago. All they would find now is a dead gunman with two bullet holes in his chest. _

_She shakes her head at the approaching EMT, denying treatment. _

"_Jane." Korsak places a calming hand on her shoulder. "Get your arm checked out. You were shot at." _

"_Korsak. I'm fine. The bullet barely grazed me. I need to go see if Maura is okay." She twists and turns but is unable to locate the honey blonde. "Where is she?"_

_Irritation flares through the senior detective as memories of that fateful night in the basement flashes through his eyes. "That was very foolish what you did Jane. You could have gotten yourself killed. Going in without back up, without knowing the circumstances, didn't we already go through this once before? You let your emotions cloud your judgment." _

_She feels herself getting defensive, anger boiling within her. This was Maura they were talking about not some random victim off the streets. "He had a gun, Korsak. I sure as hell wasn't going to negotiate with her life on the line. Now where is she?" her tone forceful, final._

_Korsak sighs, shaking his head at the stubborn detective. He knew there was no reasoning with her when the ME was involved. He resignedly points at an ambulance parked across the street away from the chaos of the crime scene. "She's shaken up, a few scratches, a nasty bruise from where O'Malley strong armed her, but otherwise she is unharmed."_

_Jane lets out huge breath of relief although Korsak's words did nothing to soothe her nerves of Maura's well-being. She needed her own reassurance that Maura was okay._

_Glancing at where Korsak pointed, she moves closer and spots the petite doctor with a large blanket draped around her body as she was being attended to. Her first instinct is to run to her, hold the ME protectively in her arms for as long as Maura needed. That was what she would've done if they were on speaking terms. But currently, through her own fault, they are not. Instead, she stays put and watches as Maura is now painfully recalling what happened as she gives her statement. She watches intently as every so often Maura would gaze out into the crowd of officers and crime scene techs milling around, it would seem like she was searching for something. Or someone. After a few seconds, she would lower her head, gazing downward instead, a crestfallen look adorning her face._

_As she was the only one that Maura has yet to see, her heart swells at the thought that maybe, just maybe Maura was looking for her. With that thought in mind, she takes the first step, but halts almost immediately, as a figure comes flying out from behind the crime scene tape and runs in the direction of the ambulance. The ache in her heart causes her to slightly stumble as she immediately recognizes the figure to be of one Ian Faulkner. She glances at them long enough to see Ian grab ahold of Maura and press gentle kisses to her forehead- no doubt mouthing loving words in her ear- before she has to tear her eyes away. Having to watch Ian comfort the woman she loves and adding to the fact that she almost lost the honey blonde is too much for her heart to handle. How foolish she felt that maybe Maura needed her. She hadn't felt this much pain since Maura broke up with her and that was only 6 weeks ago. She takes a calming breath, willing her heart to stop racing as the realization hits her that Maura has someone else in her life now. Maura has moved on. Maura doesn't need her anymore. She isn't the girlfriend. She isn't the best friend. She is nothing to the ME. They were merely strangers who happened to work together that used to date. She angrily wipes a tear that somehow escapes, spinning around; she high tails it out of there before anyone can see her break down in anger or sorrow or both. _

_Maura still resting her head on Ian's shoulder's, turns sideways as she feels eyes trained on her ever since her rescue. She darts her eyes around the crime scene and out of all the chaos and noise surrounding her, she somehow spots a blur of dark curly hair out of the corner of her eye. She quickly lifts her head and turns towards the image but the blur is gone. The sound of a car door slamming and the start of an engine almost simultaneously not too farther ahead catches her attention now. She squints her eyes just in time to see a Crown Vic speed away. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was Jane's eyes trained on her. That it is was Jane in that Crown Vic speeding away from her. Not even caring enough to make sure she way okay. She has to accept the fact that this was their relationship now. Non-existent. She lets her head fall back onto Ian's chest as a fresh set of tears make their way down her face. _

* * *

Jane briskly opens here eyes unwilling to live through the memory any longer.

"I've never felt so alone Jane. That moment was when I knew I truly lost you." she breaks momentarily as a sob escapes causing her to take a deep breath in order to continue "and just when I thought we were maybe getting back to being friends, you are pulling away from me again and I know that it can't be easy seeing me with Ian. I would feel the same way if it was you, but I just…I need my best friend back." She cries out desperately.

"Oh Maura." Jane exclaims making her way to the ME, she crouches down so they were eye to eye. She reaches for Maura's hand, moving her thumb back and forth trying to relay her apology through physical contact.

"I'm so sorry. I should have stayed. I saw Ian and I thought that you moved on already. I was still so hurt and angry at myself for our breakup. I was being selfish. I'm so sorry Maura. I'm so sorry." She brings Maura's hands to her mouth, pressing onto them with her lips as her tears stain both of their hands. "After our break up, I thought it be best if I tried to keep away so that I can move on, but I couldn't do it Maura. I can't seem to stay away from you." She whispers the last words, staring straight into Maura's tearful eyes.

She slowly brings her hands up and cups her palm against Maura's cheek, gently using her thumb to wipe away loose tears. She can feel Maura tense underneath her touch, but she doesn't stop instead she inches her face closer to the honey blonde's. So close that she can feel Maura's warm breath blowing heavily against her skin.

"I'm here now. I'm not leaving you ever again." She breathes out letting her eyes travel downward to soft, supple lips.

Both women can feel the underlying tension in the air as it grows exponentially when Maura subconsciously licks her lips at that second. But then Jane's eyes are back up boring into her own with such intensity and passion that she finds herself forgetting to breath for a moment. She allows her eyes to close; anticipation of what she feels is coming next sending shivers down her spine. The anticipation doesn't last long though as she flings her eyes open when she hears Jane whisper softly, a miniscule inch from her lips. "Don't marry Ian."

**A/N 2: What did'ya think? We're getting to the reconciliation but I just felt we needed a lil' more angst here and maybe the next chapter and the next... ;)  
**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Ohhhh. My Apologies. My sorrys for the cliffhanger and not updating for soo long! Lo sientos. Je suis désolé. Es tut mir leid - and to all my readers from around the globe. (and sorry if I butchered the translation, blame Google).**

**Thanks for those still sticking with the story. New job, new place, new pet...same crap.**

**Usual disclaimers since Ch. 1 applies.**

**Enough chatting so Enjoy!..Hopefully...**

* * *

"What?" Maura tilts her head back, unsure if she heard Jane right.

Jane takes a deep breath, turning her head upright sensing that the moment was over. She looks at Maura's face, a mixture of disbelief and confusion overtaking her features. "Don't marry him." She repeats louder, more confident this time around.

Maura rises from her seat taking a few steps back. She turns her head sideways unable to look at the pleading face in front of her. Her head was spinning.

"Why?" Maura shakes her head, unable to understand where the detective was going with this.

Jane rises from her crouching position, but stays in place and waits. She waits for the labored breathing to slow down; for the wringing of soft hands-undoubtedly a sign of nervousness-to cease; for scared hazel eyes to stop dancing around and focus on her own. She's waiting for the undivided attention in order to relay her answer because she needs Maura to fully understand why she was doing this.

The wait is over.

Brown eyes glued onto hazel ones.

"Because I love you."

Silence consumes the small office as Jane's declaration resonates, lingering between the two women. It was a full minute before Maura was able to respond.

"Jane…" Maura says softly, moisture dabbing at the corner of her eyes.

Jane involuntarily flinches at Maura's tone. It was not one out of anger, but of sadness. Apologetic. It was that soft, gentle tone that scared her the most.

The air around them grows thicker by the second as Maura slowly directs her gaze from Jane's soft brown eyes and her declaration of love to her left hand.

Then to her ring finger.

And finally settling on her engagement ring.

A daily remainder that there was someone out there that also loved her, but was willing to show the whole world exactly that. The somber thought of that someone out there that wasn't this same woman who is in front of her declaring her love for her, the one that she actually wanted it to be, leaves a hollow ache in her heart.

Turning her gaze back to the detective, she finally gives her reply, "…it's not enough" her voice coming out in a hoarse whisper despondently, heartbreakingly.

Jane's hopeful gaze falters immediately. She feels her heart leap into her throat, constricting her lungs, causing her to choke, making it impossible for her to breathe. Three words, when spoken in a different context would have been completely harmless. Not here though. Not now. Here, she was left utterly speechless. _How is love not enough?_ _Love should be the only thing that matters. Love should conquer all. Love is forever. Because dammit, love was all she had left. _

"I'm sorry." Maura says softly unable to meet the detective's eyes. She moves to leave. The heartbreaking face of the dark haired brunette too much for her to take in.

Maura's apology brings her out of her bearings. She looks up just in time to see Maura start to move towards the door.

Maura's apology and subsequent walk out lights a fire under her, pushing the pain raging in the pit of her stomach further down and the verbal slap in the cheek to quickly dissipate. She quickly makes a decision that will either move this-whatever _this_ was with Maura-forward or reverse whatever progress she already accomplished. But she didn't care anymore; she was going to take a chance. She was not going to stand idly by this time and watch another walk out without doing something about it.

Taking vigorous steps, she reaches Maura quickly and in one swift motion, she grabs ahold of her arm firmly effectively halting Maura's progress. She pulls Maura backwards, spinning her around in the process and crashes her lips against Maura's silencing any words or protest from the ME. She can feel Maura tense as soon as their lips touch, small hands pushing against her shoulders, trying to wiggle out of her tight grasp, but she doesn't loosen her grip. Instead, she snakes her other arm behind the shorter woman's back and pushes Maura flush against her, deepening their kiss. The surprise movement elicits a small gasp from the ME which gives her the perfect opportunity to slip her tongue inside. Her knees nearly give out when she hears a guttural moan erupt from the honey blonde as Maura's hand tugs on Jane's hair on the back of her head. Maura is now kissing her back with just as much fervor, their breathing intermingling heavily as their tongues are battling for dominance; neither wanting to concede first. Jane finally wins the battle as Maura slightly slumps in Jane's arms, exhaustion kicking in.

The need for air finally breaks them apart, but there is not an inch of space between their bodies.

Jane wraps her arms around the shorter woman squeezing tight laying a long kiss on her temple as she feels Maura trembling against her. "Maur?" she says gently.

Maura shakes her head against Jane's shoulders, as her tears seeps through Jane's thin cotton shirt, her hands fisting the back of Jane's shirt tightly, unable to voice a response. The emotional rollercoaster she and Jane has been on these last several months ultimately ending in a take charge kiss initiated by the detective finally taking a toll on her as she breaks down in Jane's strong arms enveloped in a firm and protective embrace.

Jane bites her lips, her heart beating erratically, silently praying to God that Maura wasn't in tears because of their kiss. A few minutes tick by as a dread of fear courses through her body as Maura's continued quiet sobs does nothing to ease her doubts.

"It's going to be okay Maur. Everything's going to be alright." She says softly against Maura's temple.

"It's not Jane. It won't be okay. Everything is all messed up." Maura cries out helplessly slowly pulling away from the embrace.

Jane reluctantly loosens her grip as she feels Maura start to peel away from her.

"We'll figure it out. Together." Jane tries to placate the frantic woman.

Maura shakes her head. "Don't you see Jane? There is no _we_," she says pointedly, gesturing vaguely between herself and the detective "I'm engaged. I'm engaged and I kissed you back. I just cheated on my fiancé." Covering her face with her hands, she squeezes her eyes shut as the guilt comes crashing through her like a freight train. "Please Jane…I need to…please just go" she begs through rapid sniffles.

Jane quickly moves closer, ignoring Maura's plea for space. She removes the MEs shaking hands from her face, gently cradling them with her own. "Hey…look at me Maur," she says softly. Once glossy hazel eyes lands on hers, she continues, speaking in a softer tone. "I'm in this 100% with you, okay? The whole time that we were apart, I forgot what it was like to kiss you. To hold you. Now that I got to taste your lips again, to have you in my arms. I'm never letting go. I never want to be apart from you. Whatever you need me to do, I'll do it. But don't ask me to walk away from you, from us; because that is the one thing I can't give you. I love you too much to walk away from us again."

When she receives no response from the teary eyed woman in front of her, she swallows quickly before leaning her head in. She tilts her head slightly as her lips inches closer to the honey blondes. "Tell me what to do…" she whispers. Her eyes staring straight into Maura's as her breathing becomes heavy, her throat suddenly bone dry as her heart hammers inside her chest.

There is a pregnant pause as Maura continues to stay silent.

Jane mistakes the continued silence as a decline from Maura. Hanging her head slightly, she is just about to pull back when she hears it.

"I love you too..." The faintest of voices, whispered so low that if it not for the dead silence in the air prior she would have surely missed it. It was quickly followed by an equally low breathless whisper of "...Jane, kiss me."

A smile slowly appears as she cannot hold back the surge of happiness that flows through her body. Her body feels as if it was floating in air. A heavy weight being lifted off her chest. Like she finally accomplished he main goal in life and she could now die happy. The three words she waited so long to hear from the ME was finally spoken back to her. She didn't have to be told twice, closing the small gap she places her lips on awaiting soft pink ones. Placing multiple long kisses on Maura's mouth, she then leisurely glides her tongue across Maura's bottom lip and when small pink lips parts slightly, granting access, she guides her tongue inside. This time though, instead of tongues battling for dominance, they are effortlessly dancing around each others with such ease and familiarity, it feels like their very first kiss. The emotion behind the kiss and subsequent memory makes Jane's eyes brim with tears.

If the other kiss was, rough, needy, angry and long. Then this one was the total opposite. It was softer, slower, sensual, and short and sweet. But not any less meaningful or passionate. Actually, Jane would never admit it out loud-less she be called a softie or a romantic-but she preferred this kind of kiss with Maura more than any other. It fit the soft, delicate, kind-hearted, warm and beautiful vision of the Maura that she knows and loves.

When they pull apart, Maura slumps forward and leans her head against Jane's letting out a deep sigh of content. She can hear the rumblings of her assistants and interns outside her door as they prepare for the day. She didn't want to leave the familiar comfort of Jane's arms and the privacy of her office, but they were at work and she was still engaged to Ian. Sighing heavily, she pulls out of Jane's arms once again. Seeing that Jane was about to protest, she silences her with a finger on her lips.

"As much as I want to lock us in here and continue this, we do have to get to work eventually and I can't have someone barging in and catching us."

Jane nods her understanding, but equally frustrated at their time being cut short. "I know…" her mood suddenly somber as she realizes how much she didn't want to leave the honey blonde after just rekindling their romance.

Maura picks up on the shift in the detective's stance. She lifts her hands and softly caresses a defined jawline, offering her a sympathetic smile.

Jane inwardly shudders, even the slightest touch from the honey blonde shocks her to her core. "Come over to my place later" she burst out. "T-To talk. Just to talk" she quickly clarifies, stumbling over her words as she hears her request in her head sounding more salacious than she intended as she didn't want to rush Maura into anything she wasn't comfortable with.

Maura gives her a shy smile. "Okay."

"Okay?" Jane repeats, unable to hold back the grin already forming at the corner of her mouth.

"Yes, okay."

"Okay. Okay" Her grin has turned to a full blown smile now. "I'll text you when I get home." And with one last fleeting look she turns to leave, her heart fluttering with hope.

* * *

Riley looks up from her desk as Jane strolls inside the bullpen, a permanent smile plastered on her face. When Jane approaches her desk, she turns her chair towards the aisle; she glances up at the lanky detective as her eyebrows shoot upwards awaiting an update on what happened in the morgue. "So…" she prods impatiently.

Jane licks her lips, her smile growing wider, a dreamy look on her face as she recalls the image of her and Maura kissing just moments before. "We kissed and she told me she loves me" she replies, the happiness trickling out of her voice.

Riley unable to hold back a smile of her own, gets up and slaps Jane on the shoulder playfully. "Alrighttt Rizzoli. You're out of the doghouse. I'm really happy for you."

Jane chuckles. "We're going to talk more later on tonight. But Coop…" she says nodding her head gleefully, "I think this is it. I'm finally going to get her back this time. For good."

Riley cocks her head. "Not to dampen your extremely great mood or anything, but what about her engagement? Ian?"

Jane shrugs her shoulders. "I honestly don't know. We'll discuss it tonight, but I do know that we both still love each other and I'm not letting her go without a fight" she finishes pointedly. "Now help me get my mind off of Maura or else I'm going to go stir crazy waiting for tonight"

Smirking, Riley hands her a stack of files from her desk, "Remember that time I helped you get your ex back..."

* * *

**6:37**

**. . . **

**6:38**

Taking another glimpse at the clock on her wall, Maura feels her heart to start race as at any moment now Jane was going to text her to come over. Since Jane left her office, she couldn't get the dark haired brunette off her mind. Every time she glanced at the spot where they stood this morning, she can still feel Jane grabbing her and kissing her roughly and at the same time with such passion and tenderness, it made her knees feel weak and a blush forming on her already rosy cheeks.

A loud knock on her door pulls her out of her thoughts as she looks up to see the one person she had hoped to avoid today, especially in her office, walk in through the doorway.

"Ian." She yelps out in surprise.

Ian throws her a lopsided grin as he strolls across the room to place a quick kiss on her lips.

"Hi love. I know how much you lose track of time lately. I thought I'd come to rescue you. So take off that lab coat because I am taking you somewhere special" he says, lightly tugging on her hands and pulling her up out of her seat.

Maura frowns at his request, but let's herself get pulled up anyway. "Ian, I wished you would have called first. I…I have an important appointment that I can't miss."

It was technically not a lie. She did have an appointment; she just didn't have a set time yet. She was awaiting a text for the time any moment now.

Ian brushes off her words. "Reschedule. This is more important."

Maura sighs in frustration at Ian's dismissal of her obligations. "This _is_ important and I'm not cancelling. You should have told me of this beforehand. Now I suggest you go to this special place by yourself or reschedule for another time for when I am available." She says crossing her arms to make her point.

Slowly, Ian's forehead creased and a confused expression crossed his face as he mirrors his fiancé's stance.

Just then, Maura's phone buzzes with an incoming text. Picking up her phone, she finally sees the text from Jane.

**I just got home. I've also picked up dinner for us. Whenever you are ready, I'll be here waiting. **

She finds herself smiling at her phone when she hears someone clear their throat in front of her. _Oh, Ian_. She forgot his presence momentarily, looking up she finds the un-amused face of Ian staring right back at her.

"Who's that?" his eyes narrowing slightly.

Slipping the phone in her lab coat, she turns away from him, avoiding the direct question as she proceeds to start packing up for the day. "My appointment. I'm sorry, but I really can't cancel. I'll see you later at home, okay?" She pecks him on the check, trying to politely dismiss him before continuing her process.

After a minute and Ian hadn't budged, she stops to look at him. "Ian?"

"You mother landed a few hours ago. She is going to meet us for dinner. It was supposed to be a surprise" he pauses gauging her reaction. "I'll give you 10 minutes" he says with finality walking out the door and leaving a stunned ME behind.

* * *

**A/N 2: Ahh. Momma Constance is here...**

**Judging from the reviews, you guys are really mixed on the reconciliation now or more angst that leads to reconcil. I've got a few more angst to throw in there but I promise it won't drag much longer. Hang in there...**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey, remember me?! Sorry, took a mini-hiatus b/c things got a little hectic at home, but I'm back. Thank you all for sticking with me and sending in your PMs, and reviews to get me back here. I hate, hate unfinished stories, so never fear this one will get done.**

**On a totally different note: I just discovered (hella late) about PepSi. Thats Pepa/Silvia from Los Hombres de Paco. Freakin' A…why didn't no one tell me about them. It's the spanish version of Rizzles. I've become slightly obsessed with them. I need more of them, readers give a girl some 411 on these two, will ya? I need to fangirl with you all PepSi lovers.**

**Those that don't care: onto the story. Enjoy!**

Tossing her phone to the side of her, Jane lets out a grunt of displeasure at Maura's text notifying her that she had a last minute change of plans and regretfully could not make it tonight. No matter how many times she read the text, it wasn't going to magically change and bring Maura to her and that didn't make her feel any better. She thought they were finally getting somewhere.

They kissed. Twice.

They made plans for the evening. Dinner plans.

They were finally going to talk. She lets out a huff of frustration. What went wrong. There had to be a damn reason that Maura was blowing her off and clearly being as vague as possible about it.

Ian.

Dammit.

There was nothing she could do now. She just hoped that Maura wouldn't change her mind and remembered what they shared earlier.

Leaning her head back against the couch cushion, she shuts her eyes thinking about what could have been with Maura tonight.

* * *

The two ride in silence on the way to the restaurant. The air between them was thick with tension. Maura leans her head back against the window, letting out a long tired sigh. This was not how she imagined her night would turn out. She wanted, no, she should be with Jane right now. She checks her phone once again for any messages or missed calls from the detective. Nothing. She couldn't blame Jane for not responding back. She did tell her that she would be there tonight and at the last minute she calls to cancel. Hopefully, the night would end quickly and she could drop by and try to salvage any semblance of a dinner date they had.

Ian catches the honey blonde checking her phone yet again out of the corner of his eye. His grip on the steering wheel tightens, that was the eight time in the last half hour she has done that. He could feel the anger bubbling inside as his jealousy grows towards the one person that had a much stronger hold on his fiance than he did. He couldn't keep quiet any longer. "You keep checking your phone. Who could be so important that you can't give your fiancé a couple hours of undivided attention?" It was not so much a question as it was a irate statement.

Maura whips her head around to face him, shock registering at the cold tone emitting from his voice. "Excuse me?"

Ian scoffs indignantly at her reaction but keeps his eyes on the road. "Don't play stupid, Maura. We both know that it's Jane you are waiting a call from and it was Jane that you were going to meet tonight as your _appointment"_ he punctuates the word as if it was a lie, " as you so astutely pointed out." At a red light, he takes the opportunity to turn towards her, his eyes boring into hers, challenging her to refute his statement, "tell me I'm wrong."

Maura chews on the inside of her mouth. She can feel the guilt creeping up on her, flashes of Jane and her kissing passionately hours earlier causing her to turn away from Ian's burning eyes and curt tone. "You're not wrong" she says softly.

Ian lets out a sound of disapproval, "I know" he mutters, facing the road again.

Another lingering silence befalls the couple. Maura briefly shuts her eyes at Ian's answer, she clenches her jaw to keep her tears from falling as she stares out the window, her grip on her phone loosening considerably as the seconds tick by.

They finally make it to the restaurant as Ian maneuvers the car into a parking space and shuts off the engine, but neither makes a move to get out.

Ian sighs exasperatedly, leaning his head against the headrest.

Maura lets a tear roll down her cheek. "I'm sorry," she meekly lets out, making no attempt to wipe away her tear.

Ian's jaw tightens at her apology. He was sure he didn't want to know why she was apologizing, but he couldn't help himself. Turning his head sightly towards her, he asks slowly, calculatingly. "What are you sorry for?"

"I kissed Jane" she says softly, swallowing thickly as the words leave her mouth, her throat suddenly bone dry,

His fingernails dig deep into his palms as her words hit him in the chest. He can feel the anger rising quickly within him He clamps on his teeth trying to reel it in. It wasn't working, he can feel the sting of his palms as it slams against the steering wheel forcefully, startling the honey blonde beside him.

Maura knew Ian wouldn't ever hurt her physically, but she couldn't help but be a little bit afraid of him at that moment. Nevertheless, she hated that she hurt and betrayed his trust. "I'm sorry Ian, I never wanted to hurt you."

"Too fucking late for that, isn't it?" he sneers angrily causing Maura to wince at his tone. "Jesus, Maura. I stayed. I fucking stayed for you. I left everything I knew and loved to be here with you and you couldn't even do the same for me. You fucking cheat on me with her. The same woman who couldn't give you what you wanted. Who broke your heart?"

Maura stays silent, not knowing what to say to make things better. There was nothing she could say. He was right. She hurt him. She hurt the one person who was there for her and picked her up when she was at her lowest because of the same woman that she cheated on him with. How did she know Jane wouldn't just end up doing the same thing again, months later. Years later.

"So, this is it then?"

His question jars her out of her thoughts., her brow furrowing in confusion at his question.

"You telling me this because….what?…we're over? You're breaking up with me so that you can be with _her_ now?" he spits out, unable to hide the displeasure of any reference to the detective.

"I don't know Ian. I just thought you deserved to know."

Ian lets out a long defeated sigh. "Your mother is inside. Go and have dinner with her."

Maura looks up surprised. "You're not joining us?"

Ian lets out a scoff, "After what you just told me, I'm not much in the mood, Maura."

Maura lowers her head, "of course. I'm sorry." She grabs the door handle to let herself, but she halts to turn around as she hears her name.

"Tell me something. What's different this time around?"

Maura opens her mouth to speak, but she found she didn't have an answer. What was different this time around. So far, Jane hadn't done anything to prove that she had changed.

"She's only going to hurt you Maura. Again." With that, he turns to start the engine leaving her with something to think about.

With one last fleeting look she goes on her way.

Maura watches as Ian backs out and gases the car out of the lot.

* * *

Taking a deep breath, she wipes away remaining tears and quickly pulls herself together before stepping into the restaurant. Scanning the space before her, she spots her mother seated close towards the entrance.

"Hello mother" she says approaching the table.

"Maura dear, how are you?" The older Isles gets up and gives her daughter a warm embrace.

Maura forces out a smile. "I'm doing well, mother. How have you been? You are keeping off your leg, I hope."

Constance lets out a light chuckle, "my daughter, always the doctor. To answer your question, yes I have. It has not been easy, relinquishing most of my duties, but I am glad that I have. It lets me travel anywhere I please, on a whim. Like being here for instance when Ian called." she looks around the restaurant. "Where is Ian?" she questions.

At the mention of her fiancé, Maura's smile drops quickly. "Ian won't be joining us tonight."

"Oh?" Noticing her daughters forlorn look, Constance probes deeper. "Maura? What's going on? Are you okay?"

Maura can feel her tears threatening to spill again. "I-I did something horrible, mother."

"What happened?" Constance gently says.

Maura shakes her head. "I don't even know where to begin. Everything is such a mess."

'Start at the beginning…"

She didn't want to out Jane, but she needed to talk to someone about it. She knew her mother would take whatever was said between them to the grave if she asked her to.

Sensing her daughters hesitation, Constance grabs Maura's hands and cups them with her own. "I know I haven't been the best mother while you were growing up or even now-" she shakes her head as Maura starts to protest. "It's okay, dear. We all know it. But I want to be here for you now. I want to be a mother you can count on. A mother who you can call for advice or just to lend a ear to listen to. A mother that you never had growing up. You are my daughter and I love you very much. I just want to be here for you when you need it."

Tears prickling at her eyes, she gives her mothers hands a squeeze and nods knowingly. "Mother…you know that Jane and I are very close. Well, we were very close." At Constance's encouraging nod, she continues "Before Ian and I got together, Jane and I were… in a relationship. Intimately."

She pauses to glance up at her mother, already bracing herself for the look of disappointment that would undoubtedly show, the speech given to her just minutes prior to be taken back instantly. However, what she finds is her mother staring right back at her, no look of disgust or judgement apparent. She didn't know what to make of this. "Mother? Did you hear what I said?"

Constance raises an eyebrow, smiling at her flabbergasted daughter. "Yes, dear. You and Jane were a couple and now you are not. Honestly Maura, give your ol' mother more credit than that. I always knew there was something going on with you two. The way that woman is so fiercely protective and caring of you is so endearing. She is the only suitor of yours that had the courage to stand up to me." Constance says chuckling lightly causing Maura to smile also. "But, I'm still waiting for the horrible thing you think you did."

Maura breathes deeply. "Jane and I ended our relationship on bad terms. She didn't want to make our relationship public and kept making promises she couldn't keep. I eventually got tired of it and ended things with her. On the night of my engagement, Jane confessed that she still loves-admittedly when she was inebriated-but nevertheless, that one night changed the dynamics of our friendship again. And lately my feelings for Jane have started to resurface so much so that we ended up kissing this morning. I was supposed to meet her tonight to talk about us. I just…I don't know what to do. I still love Jane, but I can't hurt Ian. I love him too."

"But it's not the same kind of love, is it?" Her mother interjects quickly.

Maura bites her lip, shaking her head slowly, "No, its not." she says quietly. "But it doesn't matter-"

"Of course it does" Constance indignantly cuts in. "You can't stay with someone when your heart belongs to another Maura. It's not fair to anyone involved."

Maura stares at her engagement ring, "so you're saying I should be with Jane."

Constance shakes her head at that, "I can't tell you who to choose dear, you need to make that decision for yourself. But I will tell you this; some people spend their whole lives looking for the love of their lives, their soulmate; and sadly most are not successful. We both know that you have found that someone and I would hate for you to choose second best because it hurts the least. You only get one life Maura, don't waste it by being only content. I don't want that for you. I want you to be in love. I want you to be happy and I've seen you at your happiest. Now it is just a matter of, are you willing to put your heart out there once again. For _your_ soulmate, because you deserve more than just settling because the possibility of a heartbreak scares you. Love is never easy, but it sure as hell is worth it. Especially a connection as rare as yours."

Maura rapidly tries to blinks back tears, but to no avail as they swiftly roll down her cheeks. _Soulmate_. Her mother is right, even though Jane broke her heart, she never stopped loving the dark haired brunette. No one in her life had ever caused so much anguish and pain as Jane did, but no one also loves her as much as she knew Jane did. And she could never love anyone as much as she loves Jane. After the only briefest moment of contemplation she looks at the woman next to her, "Mother-"

But Constance smiles and cuts her off again. "Go. I understand completely."

Nodding happily, Maura gets up to give her mother a tight hug. "Thank you, mother."

"Your very welcome, now go and give Jane my best."

"I will."

* * *

Jane can't contain the smile stretching across her face. "Maura…" she half whispers unable to hide the unexpected surprise that Maura was at her door. She quickly steps out and brings her arms to encircle the smaller woman. "You don't know how happy I am that you are here" she says into honey blonde locks.

Maura relishes in the comfort of Jane's arms for a few extra minutes before she finally pulls out of her embrace wanting to apologize for canceling on her. "I'm sorry about tonight Jane. I really wanted to be here. With you."

Bringing both hands up, Jane cups the doctors cheeks in her hand and looks straight into teary hazel eyes. "It's okay. I know you did."

Maura nods as Jane leads her into the apartment. They get settled onto the couch without an inch of space between them. Maura lays her head onto the detective's shoulders, exhaustion from the day kicking in.

With her arm around Maura's waist, Jane brings the doctor in even closer. She smiles as Maura laces her hand with hers, snuggling into her side.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Maura sighs contently. "My mother says hello."

Jane eyebrows raise considerably. "So your mother is the reason you had to cancel?"

"Yes. Ian gave me a last minute surprise. Mother flew in and she was the one who actually made me realize I should be here with you."

Jane hums her approval. "I always liked your mother."

Maura chuckles. "She likes you too." Chewing on her lips, Maura debates in her head if she should have such a serious discussion with Jane tonight, but she needed to know where they stand.

"Jane?"

"Hmm.."

"I told Ian that we kissed."

She can feel Jane tense immediately. "What did he say?"

"He was angry, of course, but more hurt than anything. He said…" she pauses as her voice cracks trying to hold in a sniffle.

"Tell me" her voice low, cautious.

"He asked me, what was different this time around? And I-I couldn't give him an answer because I don't know myself." she turns her head slightly so that she can gaze into soft brown eyes, searching for an answer. "Are things different, Jane?"

Jane's heart breaks at the insecurity in her voice. She keeps her eyes locked on pleading hazel orbs. "Hey, I meant what I said. I'm not leaving you again. The two years has been the worst of my life, knowing how much I hurt you. How I was such an idiot for letting you go. I'm getting better at coming to terms with myself. Um,…" she hesitates not sure if she should tell the honey blonde.

Noticing the hesitation in Jane's voice, Maura encourages her to continue, "Jane…what is it?"

"I um, I came out to my family."

Maura's breath catches in her throat. "You did?"

Jane nods. "Yea. It was terrifying, but I needed to do it and it…I just feel so much freer."

Maura can feel her heart beating erratically in her chest out of sheer hope. Maybe things will change between them. Maybe Jane has changed.

She lays her head back onto broad shoulders, "Freer isn't a word, Jane" she admonishes lightly, unable to hide the elation out of her voice.

Chuckling, the detective lays a kiss atop the doctors head relishing in the easiness of the moment, before getting serious again. "I want to try this again with you Maura. The biggest challenge in our relationship was that I refused to acknowledge that we had one outside of the two of us. That won't ever happen again. I'm not that scared, selfish and cowardly person I was before. Not having you in my life the way I wanted, the way it should've be, killed me. I don't ever want to have that feeling again. I don't want you to ever have that feeling again."

Maura sniffles, her heart not as heavy as before knowing where Jane stood, where they stood. That was good enough for her, at least for now, "Let's go to bed."

Nodding her agreement, Jane concurs. "Ok."

No words are exchanged as the dark haired detective leads them both to the bedroom. Jane goes to her dresser and pulls out a old BPD shirt and matching sweats, something more comfortable for Maura to sleep in.

They crawl into bed and Jane pulls the doctor in closer, her arm protectively draped over the small woman's petite body.

Sleep comes quickly for the honey blonde, but Jane is wide awake relishing in the fact that Maura chose to come back to her even after what Ian said to her. She scoots in to press a kiss on Maura's temple whispering softly, "Thank you for being here tonight. I love you, Maura Dorothea Isles."

**A/N 2: What? No cliffy. I'm going to throw in some nice light fluff, change from all the angst, but you all know me…I likes the angst.**

**Remember that darn ring from Jane's bottom dresser from hella chapters ago? Yep…it's going to make a return…stay tuned….**


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